It's like hunting for something that you desperately want, and keep hunting and hunting....whether it be Rocky Road Ice Cream or the elusive anaconda in the Amazon. She just needs to relax...and enjoy all the parts of the hunt....or hunted...

I pity "Erin", who wrote the first letter on this thread, for thinking/believing that sexual interest/activity should end in the mid-40s. For someone who is 27 in 2006 to believe that mid-40s is the end of the line leaves me speechless enough to stop here: it's clear that she is from another planet.

Harrison

Personally, I don't think people should still be having sex after 45 or so anyway, so maybe her body is trying to tell her something? Sex is a privilege reserved for the young and nubile and fertile. It is a "stage of life" sort of arrangement and it is what biology intended. And before you jump all over me--I am 27 now, but I am willing to part with sex after a certain age. It is only natural. I really don't think this woman has a problem...

>>the honest average guy with integrity, no game, and sexual ambition is a kid outside the candy shop window. no sex, no life.>>

Big news flash: most of the men are honest average guys with integrity. And most of us women are married to honest average guys with integrity.

remember the bell curve: most of us are average. And happy being average with our average spouses.

Yeah, you're right, farafield...

The "wished death on" comment put it over the top for me.

I have been passed over for greener pastures and it hurts, but "wishing death" on them is simply outside my realm.

I keep thinking I can see where he is coming from but that is really over the top. I have never and would never "wish death on" the one who got away. I wish they would run into me by accident when I'm all skinny and beautiful and on the arm of someone better than them (ha!) but then I wish they would move to another state and I'd be just sure they grew old alone and missed me lots and were really sorry.

sorry but brightstar is self-centered and does not care one iota for these women. he just thinks he does.

if he "wishes death" on someone, that is hostile and actually scary. if he goes into a relationship with the mindset that 1) he needs behave according what the woman "says whe wants", 2) he's afraid of revealing his feelings in case he gets hurt, 3) he's going to wish death on her if she rejects him, he is not truly caring about the other person but worrying more about himself and how he comes across. women pick up on this!!! and this goes back to my original point that woman want to feel loved and safe, that the man is dependable and secure - no matter what kind of clothes they wear or how many extra pounds they carry (within reason!).

its true that you need to love yourself, be at peace with yourself, before you can truly love someone else.

Farafield, I don't think the women in Brightstar's case are thinking "He's going to be so busy making his way up the ladder he won't have time for me," etc. or "he only wants me for my social position" (there could be some of that, and I think that's EXACTLY what's going on with brightstar) but I bet the women he aspires to don't think that cut and dried about it.

If Brightstar is indeed chasing the kinds of women he went to art school with, I'm betting the women are picking up on things he thinks are subtle and shouldn't matter, like what he wears (before he even opens his mouth) He thinks it shouldn't matter, and he's damned and determined it's not supposed to matter, and it doesn't to the girl-next-door type of woman. What he's calling a girl-next-door, I wonder if she really is. What he calls "playing the game," I wonder if that includes what he wears, how he styles his hair, glasses, shoes, things like that. NO THESE SHOULDN'T MATTER but it depends on the crowd he runs in.

I think brighstar needs to expand his social circle, get over the one that got away, hang with some people from a wider diversity of backgrounds, and bite the bullet and spiff up if he aspires to women from a certain background even if they hang in bars and wear jeans. There are jeans and there are jeans.

What does Brightstar wear and what kinds of people make up his regular circle, that's what I want to know.

Why does he still have to see this same woman who broke his heart? Why is he still hanging in that circle, and if he has to, is he also starting to hang in some different circles as well, to help get some fresh air into his perspective?

Just trying to help! I agree a little tummy should not be important, and I'm of two minds on clothing. However, it's not my fault that women of a certain social level pick up on things like clothes and accessories....no one is forcing guys to chase those women. There are plenty of down-to-earth women who aren't fat or ugly. I have no idea if the girl-next-door-who-got-away in Brightstar's case dissed him because of the extra pounds or the way he "won't play the game" or what came out of his mouth...or she had a crush on someone else...but if Brightstar truly wants to be Tyler Durden, he needs to not chase women who judge by those things...if that is indeed what's going on. Can't tell for sure. Is the "one who got away" from a more privileged background than Brightstar's background of origin? This fuels a lot of resentment that I think sometimes masquerades as male-female resentment.

Jesus, people, quit trying to understand or sympathize with brightstar. The fucker has a gigantic sense of entitlement that's inversely proportional to anything he might have to offer another human being. He deserves to die alone, and I just hope he doesn't rape or kill any women before then, since he's already wished death upon a woman who had the unmitigated gall to reject him and considers sex his inalienable right. His remarks clearly display all the psychological markers of a serial killer, which is why women avoid him. Something in them says that this guy will wind up with their blood on his hands.

To review: Worthless. Insignificant. Has already wasted copious amounts of bandwidth with his hate of an entire gender. IGNORE THE ASSHOLE and try to discuss the topic.