Speaking as one who suffers from social phobia (though mildly, compared to the LW), I can say that it's a great relief to dedicate time and effort to a cause outside yourself. Yes, you will be with other people, but you might be surprised how many other social phobics you'll find there. Surely the LW has considered the notion that one of the best ways to forget one's own suffering is to work to alleviate the suffering of others, and independent wealth provides a great opportunity to do this. Don't give up. Help instead.

No one can presume to understand the LW's pain, but one can offer compassion for such suffering, which Cary has already done.

I can offer another phone number: 1-816-969-2000 for Silent Unity's prayer line, which is available any time, day or night. Or their web address: http://www.unityonline.org/pray_submitprayerrequest.htm, if that is more appealing. However, I would recommend that the LW actually call and speak to someone. Requests are kept confidential, and honored for 24 hours a day for 30 days.

Even though considering suicide might imply a lack of faith or belief, it is not really necessary to accept the idea of a supreme being, in order to benefit from prayer. In fact, I mostly doubt god, but give a lot of credit to prayer, and I have submitted many requests to Silent Unity over the years.

- ktm

Oh, you poor trust fund baby!

Cary, this is a completely fake letter. You've run a bunch of them in the past few months. This sounds like someone who's read too many bad social message books about suicide, or someone who wants to see suicide talked about on Salon for whatever retarded busybody reason.

Thanks, editors, for providing some much needed humour with that ad.

On the tiny off chance this letter isn't fake, go with carbon monoxide poisoning. Shut yourself in the car in the garage and leave it running. You just fall asleep and it isn't painful!

Good luck!

My first impulse was to tell you to volunteer as well...

I've been doing volunteering at a women's shelter by where I live, and I must say it is good for the soul to go clean up after people who are at their wits end. I find the people who run the place are totally conscious of when I'm overwhelmed and can't talk, all I had to do was tell them I'm dealing with an anxiety disorder in the beginning and they've been fine with it. Its my statistics professor who can't be reasoned with. Death comes too soon anyway, spend some time helping others and doing hard work, you'll be amazed at how good it feels! You have a great opportunity here, you're financially solvent, and have oodles of free time. Volunteering is perfect! Give it a try, seriously, whats the difference anyway?

Someone who can't lift their fingers to type "painless methods suicide" into Google must be realllllllllllllly, seriously, fucking mentally ill.

Résumé

Razors pain you;

Rivers are damp;

Acids stain you;

And drugs cause cramp.

Guns aren't lawful;

Nooses give;

Gas smells awful;

You might as well live.

--Dorothy Parker

Seriously, I'm not one to talk you out of it, Ready, as it's an option I sometimes consider myself, and a family member already has, but all I can say is that I would so love to trade positions with you: my meaningful job for your trust fund. Because if I didn't have to go to work every day, I would write my book and rescue animals and work for peace and build my dream home and go for walks on the beach and otherwise seek out as much pleasure and joy in the world as I possibly could.

Lulu

you can get a shotgun at any gun show without any background check, and a shotgun is definitely instant and painless.

i was going to kill myself too, and still plan to eventually, but some co-dependent people forced me to delay my plans. the "life is great" line of reasoning is a joke to people with real, chronic crippling disabilities and pain (physical, emotional, or otherwise). beyond the concept that every life is worth saving (a very debateable point), there's not a lot else to argue about. it occurs in nature all the time, and it's reasonable to assume that pre-historic society made allowances for suicides for many reasons. so why is it so terrible for a human being, in a world with billions of human beings, to end one's own life prematurely?

Volunteer, volunteer, volunteer. Work with others. Help people. Make a difference. You'll feel better.

I know you have a social anxiety disorder. I do too. Suck it up.

I have found from personal experience that the ONLY way to overcome extreme social anxiety is to force yourself to interact with people you don't know on a daily basis. This is very hard to do. It was probably easier for me to do than it will be for you, because I had to work to eat starting at age 17, and the only steady jobs I could find while working my way through college were in retail and childcare, so for me, learning to interact positively with other people was literally a life-or-death situation.

Then again, it seems that due to your depression, learning to interact with other people has also become a life-or-death situation for you.

So, think about it. What's really harder to face-- the prospect of slicing your wrists open or leaping off a building or sucking down poison gas, looking death in the eye and hoping like hell it doesn't hurt too much-- or the prospect of saying hello to an elderly woman you're delivering food to, or, heck, even just the man behind the deli counter?

Think about it.

While I understand all the ostensible reasons for taking this letter at face value, it doesn't ring true.

First of all, one of wealth's most notable features is that it allows the wealthy to be alone. Residents of the most prestigious buildings on the Upper East Side rarely, if ever, meet anyone in their hallways or elevators, and they certainly don't chat with the doormen if they don't want to. Moreover, there's really no need to talk with the people at the "corner deli" because there's really no need ever to go to the corner deli in the first place.

Secondly, another of wealth's notable features is that it affords the wealthy the best medical care available in the world. And yet LW is strangely vague about his or her symptoms and diagnosis. It is very unlikely that LW presents with a constellation of symptoms so unique as to dumbfound any competent physician. In the offchance that the LW has been spending a fortune on quacks, LW should know that great strides are being made in the treatment of refractory depression and that the departments of psychiatry at Vanderbilt and Johns Hopkins are at the forefront of this research. But this is something that a wealthy depressed person presumably would, or at least should, know, because rich people have access to the best medical information.

Thirdly, it is extremely bizarre that the LW mentions his or her wealth at all, unless of course the letter is, as it at first glance seems, some sort of hamfisted morality tale penned by a truly wacky person, and, Lord knows, there are plenty of 'em in this world.