Letters to the Editor
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Tough call...
Usually I'm one for tough love, but the LW has been best friends with this woman for more than a decade, right?
In that case, if there's a solid emotional bond there and plenty of history between the two, I think she should just swallow her opinions about the groom (no matter how right she is) and go and be supportive at the wedding.
This woman is the LW's best friend. The LW sounds like she's a good person, a really loyal friend too who genuinely wants the best for her friend. She won't be the kind to abandon a relationship. It will hurt her too much.
I mean, I think this whole thing will erode their friendship. LW -- if you're reading this. You can be supportive, but you should probably be shopping for another best friend. There are obviously insurmountable differences between you two that are only going to keep appearing. How are you going to feel when your friend starts calling you in the middle of the night, requesting your help to fetch her man who's puking at a bar? It's like watching someone kick themselves in the ass over and over. It's completely and utterly so insane and stupid you just want to shake them and tell them to stop it already!
And the reason why I say you should start shopping for a new best friend is not so that you can abandon her when she needs your help. It's so that you can shift your expectations to someone else and let the pressure on this one particular friendship dissipate for the time being. When you do that, you'll find it much easier to accept her, warts and all.