Letters to the Editor
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I think I'd wait . . .
to make any firm decisions about what the BF is up to here. I was 6 months pregnant with child #2 in a very solid marriage when my husband interviewed in a city almost 4 hours drive away. The job was so much better than what he had that he really felt he needed to look into it. He was offered the position, accepted--and it truly wasn't until he was in the process of resigning from the job he was in that he processed what it would mean to leave me and our children. Our plan wasn't permanent separation, it was a complex multi-year maneuver associated with significant uncertainty--but my point is this: I'd already looked on-line at housing, schools, places for me to work. I'd already begun steeling myself to raising our children alone for at least a year or two, including the difficult first year of a baby. (We had talked--and perhaps that's not what's gone on with the LW's BF.) But for my husband, not until he was halfway across the bridge did he start to look around and consider the cost/benefit picture (He opted to stay with the local job and used the offer to leverage a better situation, thankfully). I've talked to other women with similar stories. Not to generalize--there are men who plan, I'm sure--but there are also men who wait to start planning until they know more about their options. If he's really leaving for the job, and he really hasn't asked the LW how their relationship will be sustained, then of course, he's already made the decision and she'll have to let him go. But wait until he's gotten the offer and accepted it before deciding what he's doing. I'd bet that's what he's doing.