Letters to the Editor
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Actually, something has happened to you
When you were the life of the party, you were most likely covering up a part of your personality. Somehow your real, anxious personality is starting to seep out. Most likely this is because you have become more depressed and/or anxious than before for some reason. I know this because some of the language you have used is the exact same phrasing my boyfriend uses. He suffered a severe depression and is mostly recovered with medication, but he says that during the worst times, he always "felt everyone was thinking he was a jerk" and that even now at parties, he always "thinks it's his fault if the conversation is lagging or there's an awkward silence." Probably you need some good therapy. In the meantime, don't worry about being witty or making jokes. Practice good listening, and ask an occasional thoughtful question. Questions make the speakers feel good, and they make it look like you're participating. I hardly ever make jokes, for example, but since I don't have an anxiety problem, I don't worry about making conversation. Good luck.