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Sunday, Nov 8, 2009
I don't believe the wife has respect for this poor guy. Now that he's standing his ground, the playing field is levelled. Sex can really complicate things when its not the free-expression of love that Cary talks about. better to leave the sex out of this relationship until they can get to a place where they both truly respect and care for one another, if they can. The wife should see a therapist too because obviously she has anger and some unhealthy methods of (trying to) resolving it. She can't be a happy soul acting the way she has been - but does she see that?
it kills me how men always think that NOT HAVING SEX is manipulation. as a woman, you are not obligated to have sex just because your husband wants to. in an ongoing argument, your partner's ugliest behavior can sometimes be all that you can see. isn't it likely that his wife is just not attracted to him or motivated to express her love in a sexual manner in a disagreement? i for one want nothing to do with sex when i'm arguing with a significant other. seeing my man turn into a stubborn little boy definitely kills my sex drive. it is also not out of the question that his wife is turned on by his concession of the argument. simply put, a man can be much more attractive when viewed as patient and understanding to a woman's point of view.
It is really quite simple. The woman is an evil manipulator, based on the premise of the letter. There are 3 rules to any good relationshit or marriage (a useless enterprise designed to enrich women, period): Never use sex, money or children as a weapon. When 1 party uses these as the weapon or a negotiating tool, it is over. There is no turning back. Who in hell wants to be with a woman who uses children and sex as a weapon to negotiate more "things" and money? No one. The advice to give to this fellow is as follows:
1. Keep taking the prescribed medication.
2. Meet with every certified family law attorney that is of significance in his geographic region, pay them a consulting fee and discuss his situation to allow for them to be conflicted out from representing his wife.
3. Select counsel from group in #2 above and plan his exist for at least 6 months to insure proper execution.
4. Do no cheat or run around as regardless of what courts say in that they don't consider adultery when making judicial decisions, they do. Be above reproach.
5. Have this hag served with divorce papers while eating her bran muffins one morning when the plan is complete and ready of execution.
This is how it should be handled. She is useless and he is a fool for marrying such a harpy. In the earlier letters some complete mook made some assinine assertion of the woman "not being satisfied." What a bunch of bullshit. The woman married the man, whether she was satisfied or not, as a means to improve her financial station in life. If she was unsatisfied before it was her choice in the spouse she selected. Don't act like this woman is not capable of reason and that she should not be held accountable, liable and responsible for her choices. She must be, else all this harping about equality is just so much bullshit.
Continuing taking your medication, divorce your wife, then switch your medication (or start smoking pot, works just as well for me), date someone ten years younger, and buy a corvette.
You'll be fine in two years as long as you don't fall into the whole Nesting instinct thing again and avoid marriage at all costs.
Of all the writers offering solace to desperate strangers, Cary Tennis is far and away the very best. That this man does not have a more public pulpit from which to help those in need surprises me. Cary, have you been propositioned by a network or cable channel yet? If not, please get an agent who will do the legwork for you! Compared to you, Dr. Phil is a laughing stock!
"My doctor gave me Prozac and and Viagra and the ironic thing is that if either one works I don't need the other."
The effect of Celexa upon libido is unpredictable, but your sex drive may be only temporarily reduced. For me, at first, Celexa caused reduction of sexual sensation and delayed ejaculation, but my wife was understanding about it, and those symptoms have gradually subsided, and my libido is fine.
In time, you may find that your libido has not left you. Perhaps, instead, you will discover what your letter already implies: that you are simply no longer feeling desperate dependence on your wife for sex that you never really enjoyed in the first place. In other words, perhaps it's not your libido that has fled, but your self-respect that has returned.
I'm a happily married woman, been married for 14 years, and I am still attracted to my husband, and he to me, and we have two kids in the preteen years.
Sometimes we're just plain tired from work and responsibilities, but that's just acknowledged as what it is... fatigue, not lack of interest. I just wish we had the energy/time/privacy, etc. to do it more often.
We had a fun sex life before we married, we still have fun. Have our bodies changed, yes. Have our energy levels changed, yes. But that's just part of growing older, and that's going to happen with whoever you choose.
Who are these women who stop having sex with their husbands and why? If it was good once, it should still be good. If their husbands aren't satisfying them, why can't they tell them what to do? I think most men want to know what their partner likes, dislikes, etc.
Are these just stereotypes of marriage? I just don't understand.
but when a man becomes aware that there is no point in a relationship where a woman in not consistently attracted to him, for whatever reason, then there are complaints. To expect emotional awarness of and sensitiity to womens' emotions and at the same time NOT have this reaction is like expecting someone to be in shape to run a marathon and at the same time expect to be able to get away from them by climbing a flight of stairs that they are too fat and out of shape to follow you up.
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