As I said, "I can see why that makes them both look bad."

I don't believe that all men are evil, but if you're going to write a screed about me without reading my letter then I can understand why you would think that.

Yes, we only have a certain amount of evidence to peruse. That doesn't mean that I take everything that a letter writer says as the gospel, particularly when their own wording gives them away.

And, no, emotional abandonment doesn't mean that it's okay to manipulate your husband. I'm advocating for the under-represented woman in the equation. I would imagine they are both at fault. I already said that, but you've heard it the way you want to so there's nothing else to say.

not writing a screed about what you said. I really couldn't see why you quoted me because it didn't really seem to have anything to do with what you were saying and what I came up seemed to be the only explanation.

In response to the previous letter, from "No Name Given," quite simply, the following is true:

1. Women and men have a wide variety of reasons for marrying, some opportunistic, some naive, some based on blind faith, or perhaps the need to form a partnership with a trustworthy, sympathetic, and (to them) blindingly attractive other soul.

2. The woman writing this list chooses to marry for love and respect of her future partner, part of that respect being that he is a person who's shown he can take care of himself, and presumably contribute with her to the welfare of a family.

3. Marriage benefits two partners who promise to love and support each other, emotionally as well as financially.

4. Sex is good when you have the energy for it, are feeling loved and understood, or are just plain horny.

5. Most women like to have sex sometimes, some women want to have children, and women who have children care about having/earning money to care for them. Men tend to feel this way, too.

6. Most women want to be treated as individuals of value. Some women have skewed values, however, and so do some men.

7. A woman who works will need someone else, either her partner or another caregiver, to take care of the children some of the time. This might not turn out well, but it might also expose the children to strong role models other than the parents, and give them broader social skills they wouldn't get if they were home all day with Mom.

8. Show us the link for this statistic, please. Sounds freaking fishy to me. How many women in relation to men are expected to pay child support, anyway? I'm guessing they're far and away the primary caregivers in these situations.

Misogyny stated as "fact" - nice effort. Just because you say something is true doesn't mean it is. I'm not sure what life experiences lead to a worldview such as this one, but whatever they were I pity you for them. I assume the world feels safer when you view it in these black-and white terms, but in my own experience, nothing is that simple, and people are the least simple of all. There's no way to speak for us all, and it's really presumptuous of you to try.

I love men (the ones that aren't pricks...) Most men I've come across are nice people, complex people, not as different from women as I'd once believed.

These sweeping generalizations about women, how we marry mainly for money, shamelessly manipulate, yadda yadda (oooh, I'm sorry--it's most, not ALL, of us!), are beyond ridiculous. All you're doing is broadcasting your irrational hostility and most likely, your bitterness over the fact that you just cannot get laid (shocker!).

Newsflash: there are even attractive women who love sex, and can't get it whenever they want it. Sometimes have it withheld. Are even manipulated and deceived by a partner. Don't even know how to manipulate the court system! Are good people and don't blame men for all their problems! Etc etc.

Going back to the world of fun, rational men now...see ya.

why is it that certain men are all about the marriage bashing? Do they listen to that overwrought Tom Leykis radio program? I recognize many of his "rational" arguments in the men's angry screeds.

I listen to that show and laugh at how he's got these guys snookered... and he's taking them all the way to the bank by encouraging them to make self-destructive choices in the name of self-preservation.

I am married, happily married for 15 years. my husband is a wonderful man and father, we have a fulfilling sex life. I have never cheated on him, don't plan on ever doing so, and I don't believe he has on me either. We are best friends as well as lovers. I've seen him though illness, we've had two children together, and have been broke, though now we're doing well. We putter around the house, argue sometimes, make up too, but mostly we feel incredibly lucky that we have found each other.

We have had hard tests as well, economic, emotional. I held his hand through the death of his father. He was primary wage earner so that I could stay home when the kids were young.

I have no fear that he will dump me for a younger woman. i expect that we will retire together and take trips. Our life is rich.

If he would have had the lousy attitude these guys do about being "taken" by gold-diggers and waving prenups in my face, it would have never worked out. And we both would have missed out.

Life is good.

" Newsflash: there are even attractive women who love sex, and can't get it whenever they want it."

Name one. And give me her number. ;)

Call it what you will but statistics don't lie. I don't hate women, I just believe in leveling the playing field. Since paying my former spouse $1.45 Million in 1994 after less than 4 years of marriage, watching her fritter it away and not pay the mortgage on the home I owned outright to me for over 5 years and my being forced to foreclose on it and take the home back, spending $250,000 to obtain sole physical and legal custody of my sons (which I have enjoyed since 1998), watching her file banktuptcy while earning over $350,000 annually and being quite capable of paying her bills but not wanting to, seeing the actual statistics regarding marriage and it's conclusions were inexcapable and I have enjoyed a wonderful relationship with a woman for over 6 years without having to marry her as she is a good person, but not representative of the norm of women.

Sources: National Center for Health Statistics (http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nvsr/nvsr52/nvsr52_22.pdf); Census Bureau report. Series P-23, No. 173; Sanford Braver et al, Am. J. of Orthopsychiatry, 1991; other resources.

These are some of the few reliable sources of data

1. About 50% of first marriages for men under age 45 may end in divorce, and between 44 and 52% of women's first marriages may end in divorce for these age groups. Women file in over 70% of these instances.

2. 65% of 2nd marriages fail.

3. Mothers engage in PAS (Parental Alienation Syndrome) at a rate approaching 75%.

4. Non-custodial mothers who totally default on support: 46.9% Non-custodial fathers who totally default on support: 26.9%

5. Custodial mothers who receive a support award: 79.6% Custodial fathers who receive a support award: 29.9%

6. 40% of mothers reported that they had interfered with the non-custodial father's visitation on at least one occasion, to punish the ex-spouse.

Again, I could go on but these are facts regardless of your shrill attacks and uninformed position. Men don't need to get married, period. Why do it? The economics and practicality do not support marriage as a lifestyle alternative that makes sense, for most people, on a long term basis. What support do you have for your position? In the original letter the following assumptions can be made: 1. There are children. 2. The wife doesn't work and sees the husband as a wallet. 3. He will pay a large amount of the marital estate in a divorce, along with copious amounts of alimony and child support. 4. When he is done paying all these funds (she will be living with a new man, and the x-husbands money and assets will support the new man and his x-wife quite nicely) he will not have enough to pay his bills or maintain reasonable participation in his children's life but the wife will use his money to show what a great mother she is. 5. She will continue to use sex as a weapon until a divorce is filed and then file spurious claims and false charges to cloud the real issues. These are the facts.