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After a year of marriage, my husband suddenly lost all interest in sex. I had stayed attractive, was warmly affectionate, loved him. I asked what was wrong, tried lingerie, letters, gave up, gave him space, kept loving him. I moved to an attic bedroom and cried myself to sleep at night. Meanshile, he took care of himself in front of the TV.
After two years, he said offhandedly, well, I did the same thing with my first wife and with a fiancee, dunno why. Just after a year I don't want it any more. I was crushed because even more than the witholding, this told me he didn't love me. How could you love someone and hold back such an important piece of information that would hurt them for the rest of their life? Tunned out he was very manipulative and had told major lies. I was just overlooking red flags during the courtship, oooo what pretty colors.
We've been divorced ten years and it's still a painful memory.
This letter just to point out that this issue is not about gender, but...personality.
