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Monday, February 6, 2006 12:00 AM

Hooray, Celexa took my sex drive away!

And now my wife can't manipulate me.

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  • Monday, February 6, 2006 10:15 AM

    No sex for...days?

    First, based on his reference to his wife not desiring sex whilst pregnant, we may presume that there is at least one child from this marriage.

    What made me pause were three comments:

    1. That she didn't want sex while pregnant

    2. That she began witholding sex after the wedding

    3. His complaint that during an argument that "sex can end for days or even weeks" until he gives in.

    His first complaint seems unreasonable. Many women, including myself, are exhaused, sick, and miserable during pregnancy. Because men do not get pregnant, they cannot possibly understand how physically and emotionally taxing it can be. A little kindness in this respect would go a long way.

    Ditto on complaint number 3 -- I hate to tell you this, but the last thing I want to do after an argument or when I am harboring feelings of resentment is to get down with it. And just how much sex is he expecting anyway. Is it really that unreasonable to go "days" without sex? (Weeks, seems extreme, but days?)

    However, the sexual witholding didn't start with the pregnancy, or with the arguments, but with the _honeymoon_. And that is why I think this man has reason to reason to doubt the state of his marriage. Marriage is based on mutual love, respect, and intimacy. It sounds as if the intimacy stopped when he said "I do."

    Beyond the Celexa discussion, this man must sit down with his wife and discuss, seriously, the problems in this marriage. He needs to ask his wife why her interest in sex dried up after the wedding reception. They need therapy, not simply to address the sex issue, but the reasons why they have been arguing to such an extent that disagreements can go on for "weeks."

    If her answers are unsatifactory, if she is unwilling to try to discuss and address what seems to be a long-standing problem between them, then perhaps she was just a big faker going for the gold band, and it is time for him to get out of this marriage. Fast.

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