This letter is associated with the following article:
Letters
Monday, February 6, 2006 12:00 AM

Hooray, Celexa took my sex drive away!

And now my wife can't manipulate me.

Read other letters about this article

  • Monday, February 6, 2006 10:33 AM

    In a long-term marriage, consistently denying sex is a form of emotional abuse

    Period.

    I'm in kind of the same boat. My wife is almost always "too tired" for sex, which nowadays happens about once every few months. This causes me a tremendous amount of emotional pain, which I've told her about, which doesn't seem to matter to her in the least.

    The bottom line is that if the other person really cares about the relationship, which means they really care about you, they will do what they need to to make sure this connection stays strong. It's understandable to be tired, or disinterested for a period of time following something like a pregnancy, but it is not a way of life.

    What this guy is grappling with, basically, is the fact that his wife doesn't love him. She sees intimacy as a form of leverage, while he sees it as a basic element of a healthy marriage. And now that she's lost her leverage, she has nothing left. Neither does he, but he hasn't had anything for years.

    God, do I hate women like this.

Most Active Letters Threads

523

The crazy, irrational beliefs of Muslims

Tom Friedman explains the real problem: stupid Muslims think the U.S. is about war and aggression.
424

The face of rotted Washington

Evan Bayh demands more debt-financed war - fought by others - while boasting that he's a stern "deficit hawk."
187

Bigotry wins in Switzerland

By voting to ban the construction of minarets, Switzerland apes the most extreme intolerance in the Muslim world
130

Facebook, the mean girls and me

At 34 years old, I finally feel like a popular seventh-grader. How sad is that?
103

Polanski moves from jail to ski chalet

The rapist director is granted bail, and one of his most vocal apologists celebrates

View all »

Letters Help

Currently in Salon