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>why is a man who is thinking about being unfaithful a "poor example" of a man and a human being>
because he promised fidelity when they married. And all of us, man and woman, are no better than our word and how we keep it. And even considering being unfaithful (not just thinking lustful thoughts about others--that's clearly abstract and not acted on)--consdiering making it a real act is considering reducing the value of your word to nothing.
Saying love and sex are two different things doesn't in any way negate my expectations of faithfulness since my husband and I promised it to each other.
