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• Monday, February 6, 2006 08:57 AM

  Just such a weird phenomenon

  Having never been married, my opinion may be somewhat tainted. I just don't understand why LW and his wife got married. My understanding (never tested) of marriage is that it involves a great deal of courage, honesty, empathy and kindness.

  Obviously, the wife hasn't been displaying those qualities. If she's sexually unsatisfied, she hasn't been brave or honest enough to tell him that he's way off base. If she's just deliberately manipulative, well, that's just plain mean and twisted (and she's cheating herself, too).

  But I wonder if the husband is responding to her with courage, honesty, empathy and kindness. If these sexual problems have been present for a while now, it's incumbent on each one of them to say, "I'm not happy in these ways. Here's what I need, what I want, what I will absolutely not stand for, etc. And, even more importantly: Here's what I want to give to you and share with you. How can we be happy together?" And if the other party gets defensive or evasive, no matter how kindly the topic is broached, that's a pretty good indication that they shouldn't be married.

  But like I said, I have no idea why they got married in the first place. They don't seem to *like* each other very much, and I figure that's the absolute rock-bottom requirement for a liveable marriage.

  People are weird, yo.

  —ccantieri Read ccantieri's other letters
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