Letters to the Editor

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I can't believe the cruelty and I don't know what to do.
  • Maybe he can do one other thing...

    ...in addition to Cary's wise and compassionate advice. And that is, sit down with dad on the porch with his own cup of coffee and tell his dad he loves him, has grown into some understanding of all he's been through, and forgives him whatever needs forgiven, and hopes the father will forgive himself too -- regardless of the judgements of the rest of the family. The son can tell his dad he'd like him to have a little hard-won peace and contentment in his later years...and then suggest that the AA meetings might be a way to get these things.

    This way, if the father refuses to do the AA thing - or if the rest of that poisonous family finds out and bullies, humiliates or otherwise prevents him from following this course - he will at least have had this small preserver thrown to him, something he can cling to while buffeted by the sea of hostility he finds himself in, or, less dramatically, it will be a small pleasant moment to remember over with his endless cigarettes and cofee, guilt and loneliness. Sometimes a little compassion, a bit of specifically stated love, can go a long long way to making things, if not right, then a bit more bearable bearable.