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Since the LW didn't reveal his gender in the letter, but probably did in the submission form, I assumed Cary's first line, quoted by zahra, was an intentional signifier to his readers. There's no reason to parse it further.
Great advice as usual, Cary. I'm ambivalent about AA, but the idea of taking the opportunity to get him out of the house is a great one. I don't understand the idea posted here about not going home again. If the LW didn't love his family despite the frustration, he wouldn't have written. The impulse to try and make the situation better speaks well of his generosity and caring -- it would be the easiest and most narcissistic solution in the world to stay away and quote the Buddha.