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Reading this letter brought me back to my experience with a terribly co-dependant relationship I was in for many years.
My ex was a child of divorce (at 8 years old) and had some major abandonment issues, and probably some more serious issues, as well, but the pattern is a familiar one- fear of being cheated on, abandoned, suspicious of everyone and everything, in need of constant validation, and suffering from perpetual victimhood.
I foolishly promised to never abandon, but after nearly 20 years of hell (infantile tantrums, broken glass, and physical assaults) , I finally found the strength to want off this island. His track record since, is 0 for 5. He managed to drive anyone and everyone out of his life the moment they got close.
You really need to see if this has been your pattern. If so, you may very well wind up bitter and alone like your mother, and with lots of unpleasant memories and guilt over the broken hearts and destroyed lives you helped create.
It won't be easy, but take that long, long look in the mirror. You deserve to be happy, but if you are anything like my ex, this problem may be way bigger that you dared imagine. Do it now.
Good luck!
