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I worry about the LW sympathizing/empathisizing too much with her mother. A terrible thing happened to the mother, but it was a long time ago and very sad if the mother is still bitter and broken-hearted. The LW needs to be sure that she has the strength, self-confidence and means to eventually (after a grieving period of course) to move on if something like this ever happened to her. Bad things happen in life.
I like to choose 'mentors' - people I admire who have been through a similar circumstance (whatever it may be at the moment) and seem to have handled it well - as a motivating force or positive example to keep on keeping on when things seem difficult.
I too went through a teenage divorce with one parent abruptly leaving and I believe I have struggled with feelings of emptiness and fear of abandonment etc. At 45 years old I feel better than ever and it does not have to do with having a man in my life. It has to do with shaping my own. Now I feel more capable than ever of having a positive relationship.
Remember, you are loved, but don't forget to love yourself and try to love others without conditions or expectations.
