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• Tuesday, January 3, 2006 11:54 AM

  To today's LW: Hitting is bad.

  No, really... bad....

  For your sake, her sake and the sake of your as-yet-unborn children, she must - must -- repeat, MUST get counseling before you will marry her. And you must - must -- MUST get counseling before she will marry you. Because her way of being intentionally cruel to you was to hit you. Your way of being intentionally cruel to her was to withhold love and shut her out, though you knew it was breaking her heart.

  This does not excuse her behavior in the slightest. The true blessing here is that you provoked her into displaying this behavior before a helpless toddler did it. Now, everybody can do what everybody should do before anybody gets married. Run, don't walk, to a licensed marriage and family counselor immediately, without hesitation (last week would have been good), and work on becoming the people that you should be and not the people your parents raised you to be.

  And, P.S. -- Take it from a woman. It doesn't matter how much you love her. You cannot change her behavior by yourself. She exhibits classic batterer behavior, and you exhibit classic emotional abuser behavior. Knock it off, the two of yas, before you bring children into this world, or you'll both be equally guilty of perpetuating this evil bullshit.

  Now. Go. And hit and sulk no more.

  ~AS~

  —AmandaSo Read AmandaSo's other letters
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