but be ready for something else to take her place, removing your husband when he's most needed. May as well face it. Some guys just disappear when they're needed most.

I didn't read anything about kids crawling through the dog's mess, I think that's a pretty big exagerration on the poster's part. The LW says there is stink from the urine, and I can tell you even clean cat owners can have that coming from the litter box. I notice it when I go to cat owners' homes because I don't have a cat. It's unplesant, but no reason to kill the poor helpless animal!

I have a friend who does put diapers on his dog, and it helps.

The kids are watching what LW does and I'd like to teach my kids to follow through on committments and obligations. When one adopts a pet, one has a responsibility to care for the pet through it's life, not just until it's no longer convenient. Showing that to the kids will teach them about the serious responsibility of owning a pet and about honoring your obligations.

but be ready for something else to take her place, removing your husband when he's most needed. May as well face it. Some guys just disappear when they're needed most.

If that were the case this guy would have already ditched the dog. Instead, he's owning up to his responsibility. Jesus, I can't believe the stereotypes about men I've read from readers on Salon.com. I thought this site caters to progressives who are above that! (I hope these stereotypes are coming from one reader who's been burnt by some losers he or she picked in the past).

People like this make me cringe. This woman seems to want to control EVERYTHING in her universe. If she really loved her husband - because she clearly has it out for the poor dog - she would stop thinking about herself for a minute or two. Perhaps the situation with the dog is emotionally painful for the husband and he could use some compassion and support. But, I imagine the chorus of "ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME" that runs through her head 24/7 is rather difficult to interrupt.

I notice the letter writer admits that the dog is already confined to a small part of the house, and that only this part smells. If there were some reason why she had to go there regularly, we'd know: she would have whined about it explicitly. She also admits her husband is in charge of all the clean-up. So all she'd really need to do, if it's bothering her so very much, is avoid that part of the house. Oh, the horror! the inconvenience!

She also seems to assume, with no critical thought whatsoever, that the moment she and her husband had kids, those kids took precedence over everything else in the entire universe. Need to walk the dog in the morning and after work, as you've probably done for the dog's entire life? Well, you'd better not: you've got kids, and they need their dinner RIGHT THIS MINUTE. And by god, she's not fixing it alone--he'd better get in here and start fulfilling his responsibilities to her (never mind that he has much longer-standing responsibilities to the dog, who needs him at least as much as the kids do, and who will certainly not be cared for by his wife).

She can't stand it that her husband is putting something else before her own precious preferences for a few minutes a day--it's got nothing to do with the fact that it's an animal, and not a person, who needs him.

Since there is also a young child in this house, I'd like to tell a story.

Once upon a time, there was a cute little bloodhound-mix puppy. He was brought home by a family who's kids insisted that they wanted a dog. Unfortunately, he grew to be quite a large dog, and the kids lost interest in him when they realized that he had to be walked, fed, and trained. He was never fixed because no one could be bothered. He was beaten for having accidents in the house, which puppies do, especially when there isn't anyone around willing to spend the time and effort to house train them or take them for walks. He began to spend more and more time by himself, isolated and ignored. He behaved inappropriately and destructively, was nervous and anxious.

Finally, after a couple months, the parents took the puppy to the local dog pound to be either adopted or destroyed. Lesson learned by their children: When something is inconvenient and messy, get rid of it in the most expedient manner possible. I hope their kids don't grow up having internalized this lesson by the time their own parents get messy and inconvenient.

For the puppy, the story has a happy ending. We adopted him one day before he was scheduled to be destroyed, trained him, got him over his fear of anyone carrying a blunt object, worked through his nervousness and anxiety issues, which was VERY messy and inconvenient, not to mention expensive. There were tears, there were some long dark nights of the soul, it was by no means easy. But we found a way to help him because there really wasn't another option. There was trial, there was error and finally success.

I'm always glad when I hear that people recognize about themselves that they aren't pet people. That means fewer pets brought into homes where they are not really wanted. But the letter writer inherited this situation and it would be a really troubling lesson to teach her child that when something is messy and inconvenient, the best thing to do is ignore it, get rid of it, and resent it.

This dog is a loving member of your family who happens to have a medical problem. I agree with Cary, the incontinence could very well be brought on by the stress of your new child. This is a time to show even more kindness to your elderly dog, not to shun her and take her life.

I have a cat who occasionally pees around the house. He is young and will be with us for a long time. He is also loving and a member of our family, and he depends on us for his well-being. So what do we do? We deal with it. We clean his pee and spray it with a solution that destroys the odor (you think dog pee is bad? It's nothing compared to cat pee). And you know what? It's not such a big deal. We love our cat more than we dislike the occasional mess he makes.

As you know, your dog is elderly. Make her final years happy and deal with the minor problem of a mess you can clean up. She does not deserve to die simply because you are bothered by a smell.