According to Merriam-Webster's, that definition of 'sanctimonious' is obsolete.

But anyway...

Am I not allowed to post about the topic? I didn't realize that when I discussed the letter and subject at hand, it meant that I thought it was all about me.

And it's not even about a sick dog, either. It's about this couple.

I'm not going to wade through all the letters, but if it hasn't been mentioned, on a practical point, there is a good cure for the urine smell.

Drs. Fosters and Smith offer a Simple Solution stain and odor remover that works wonders.

(I have no connection with them; just a satisfied customer.)

Anonymous 1, I see your point. I don't think you have to be perfect to criticize others, and the example of meat-eaters being angry if someone kicked a dog illustrates this well. However, the reaction some people are having here is disproportionate. We don't know how small or large of a space this dog is confined to. We do know that the husband takes the dog for long walks and cleans up after it, so I don't think we can jump to the conclusion that the dog is abused. We also know that the woman who wrote the letter is struggling with her conscience on the subject, for what it's worth.

I don't really think we can assume very much at all from this letter. I find it incredibly bizzare that some readers feel capable of analyzing this woman's marriage, family, and character from a few lousy paragraphs. I realize it's an emotional subject. Personally, I can't even read about pets being abused without becoming upset. But there is no evidence of abuse in this letter, which makes emotional, knee-jerk reactions kind of inappropriate.

Or cat (in my case). I noticed that the letter writing bitch didn't say anything about the dog being in pain, which is the ONLY reason to have a pet put down, not because they are stinky or messy or inconvenient. If I had a spouse or partner who wanted to have my pet killed just because animals are messy or stinky sometimes, that person would be out on his ass immediately. For shame.

I'm stunned at the animosity from so many at a woman for admitting she has issues after years of dealing with a problem. She's asking for advice and being honest about her frustration, with much diplomacy and sympathy for the pet. Yet she's savaged by many letters.

I'm sorry, but I think raising a two small children and the comfort of one's spouse takes priority over a dog. This is especially true if one spouse does more parenting, as it seems to be in this case. It's neither unreasonable nor evil to feel humans should come first.

More importantly: dog urine stinks. Places subject to frequent pissing have a reek that lingers even after scrupulous cleaning and it doesn't take long for the smell to become pervasive. The stench of piss is not one animals are designed to tolerate - this is why we don't piss where we live. This is a major burden to impose on someone's living space, and it falls on the owner to make the effort to minimize the problem. If the imperfect care and smell has gone on for 3 1/2 years, and let us consider how long this is, irritation is a reasonable response to the chronic presence of a gagging odor. And I wonder why the dog isn't kept outside.

Some of the responses seem as if being a wife voids her right to be equal partners in decisions such as whether the house smells like piss. This woman has given birth twice and is raising two kids, it seems she deserves some leeway to shift her feelings about pets after a bad situation. Given she's sought advice in a reasonable tone, the bile being vented seems a bit off. I'm not sure if the rage is from misplaced guilt or the arrogance some people have about their own pets, but it creeps me out.

To letter writers above,

What a bunch of nasty, judgemental people you are. The LW never suggested euthanasia; she has young children and the husband needs to do more to help. She's being trying to be compassionate about this for YEARS. Why don't you people offer practical advice and KINDNESS instead of the spew I see here.

To the original LW

If you have made it this far in the letters, I commend you for your intestinal fortitude. I don't presume as so many do here to judge you, rather to say, go to the vet, see about doggie diapers, have a real heart to heart with your husband, and walk the dog and leave him with the children occasionally etc.

You are NOT a bad evil bitch. You are overwhelmed with a difficult situation.

Salon readers are not coming off well here. Cary at least was kind.

Bibbety:

My parents had a dog who was incontinent for perhaps the last 5 years of her life. They did not handle it by confining this dog, this lifelong companion, to a small area of the house like she was a leper. They cleaned up her pee when it happened indoors (and no, dog pee is not the end of the world). They treated her with love and kindness and kept her an integral part of the family until the end, because that's how you're supposed to treat a pet.

Well, at least the woman said she is conflicted about this situation, so I'll give her credit for that. Maybe she's not entirely evil. However, I find it really disturbing that the thought of having a dog euthanized just because it's old and has developed a weak bladder would even cross anyone's mind. Like others have said, a pet should be put down only if it's life has become a burden to it, not because it is a burden to someone else in the family. I believe that when you take on a pet, you have a social contract with it to provide a good life for it as long as that is possible.

I agree that the dog should be thoroughly checked out by a vet, and the woman should look into practical solutions for odor control. Beyond that, she should stop whining and just hold on for the few months this nearly 16-year-old dog has left.