My sister-in-law was never a dog person but my brother really wanted a dog, and this was at a time when they had a baby in the house. My brother said that the dog would protect them, and my SIL scoffed at this, but relented, and damn if that dog didn't go and save their daughter's life one day. SIL says she'll care for that mutt until his last day on earth and then bury him with honors.

I want to comment on a comment about cultural expectations. I don't think a cultural expectation can justify animal cruelty much in the same way that it could justify spousal or child abuse. Being part Asian, I have experienced a lot of the "it's okay to hit/beat your wife or kids because that's what people in [specific Asian country] do". I have seen it in my family and other Asian families. It's horrifying. Often this same argument carries over to animals. (So it's not about equating animals with humans, but taking unethcial "human standards" and applying it to animals). However, there's a growing movement among many Asians to be vegetarian or vegan and to campaign for animal rights. Yet the ethical treatment of animals is not a new idea in Asia. As one of my Chinese friends pointed out, some of the best Chinese cooks in the world are vegetarian Buddhists, (who incidentally, have been around for a while). When Hurricane Katarina hit New Orleans, I had the pleasure of meeing other Asian and African-American vegetarians who took time off from work to rescue the abandonded pets. Being aware of the injustices done to animals is not specific to any cultures.

Which I think describes perfectly people who would call someone a bitch because she supposedly lacks compassion. Do you see the irony there? Anonymous, if you aren't one of the people trashing her, my comments aren't directed at you. But we are all at the mercy of each other's good or ill will--not just children and animals. As an animal lover who also cares about other humans, I'm speaking up because these vicious comments don't represent my point of view.

People with animals tend to compare domestic animals to children because that is what they are: dependents that we have adopted to live in our homes. They demand care, give affection, and yes, cause tensions just as any family member would. But there's a difference; to many people, they are seen as throwaway product. Go to any animal shelter and you will find the results of unplanned pregnancies, cages full of inconvenient naughty teenagers, and old folks left behind on the side of the road. It's heartbreaking, and for this reason animal lovers can seem fierce.

But there's no denying old animals take time, patience, and an extraordinary amount of care. This letter writer did not know this; then again, she did not adopt the dog. He is her step-dog, which can be a tricky relationship. She doesn't love the dog like her husband does, but at least she's trying to cope. I suspect she wrote the letter in hopes that Cary would give her the go ahead to euthanize it, but happily, he gave her responsible advice. Vets can often treat incontinence, and give her more ideas on how to handle an aging pet. Having cared for many old, sick animals, I can vouch that it's difficult, and at times exasperating, disgusting, and inconvenient. All of those things the letter writer feels. She doesn't deserve to be pilloried. She needs constructive help from a vet and her husband.

How you handle the little things is very indicative of how you'll handle the big things.

Wanting to walk away from a relative easy family problem (and face it, this is easy compared to the hard stuff most families will face at some time) doesn't bode well.

Being there through thick and thin is what family does.

Heather:

Yeah, I saw that definition when I confirmed my suspicion that I'd misspelled sanctimonious.

Anyway, I don't necessarily agree with your argument that one must be totally pure on the subject at hand to criticize another, or even to insult someone doing something blatantly bad. For instance, most people would loudly criticize someone who kicks a dog, even as those people munch on a cheeseburger that was the product of terrible cruelty to animals. I think that's what's a play here, in that LW is treating the dog more poorly than is normally accepted.

For what it's worth, I am one of those vegan types who speaks out against cruelty to both animals and people, so maybe I really am sanctimonious...or just sanctimonious.

I feel so sorry for this dog. She has nobody to stand up for her. Her dearest friend (the husband) has wimped out to please this cold and unkind woman. I won't post what I am thinking, because it would just be a bunch of cursing. What I cannot bear is unkindness to totally innocent, loving creatures.

Despicable.

"Do you believe locking a dog in one room all day alone doesn't constitute mistreatment?"

Who said anything about locking a dog in one room all day alone? What does that have to do with anything?

I believe that factory farming is cruel and unnecessary - that's why I haven't eaten meat in the last 15 years. But it's completely irrelevant to this discussion.

Lola, you don't appear to have actually read the letter. I would say slinging mud at a complete stranger without even understanding the situation is despicable as wel.

Or actually "possessing sanctity" i.e., truly pious

Where are you getting this? That's not a widely accepted definition of "sanctimonious".

OK... girls (and I use that term specifically) step away from the keyboards.

LOL

I thought this was a sad debate about the sad fate of an old dog, but apparently now it's about who's the badder assssss,

Heather, Anon. Lola, or Camel.

it's not about you girls, it's about a sick dog.

From one Anonymous to another:

Webster's Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary