It's not an issue of whether a married couple living apart is "untraditional", it's an issue of both parties agreeing to the living arrangement. Perhaps her husband would be fine with it, in which case it will work. Perhaps he wants to (heaven forbid) live with the woman he married, in which case it won't.

A part of marriage is sublimating your own desires for the good of the other person. This goes for men as well as women.

I am wondering if the reactions would be different if the writer was a man who wanted to live apart from his wife. I highly doubt most people would not look askance at that.

LW, I'm sorta like you, but maybe not as much. I've been married 14 months after 43 years of singlehood, so there was some adjustment required. Cary describes the psyche well, one's sense of self being inside one's head and being disjointed by interruptions.

How it works for me: at times I've explained that I need quiet time and that his loving moves can interrupt my calm. So he gives me a little space when I get home from work and need to decompress, and when I'm first reading in bed at night and need to tone down to a relaxed state for sleep.

It also helps he has an engaging hobby so we both have lots of alone personal time while being comforted by being nearby each other.

I agree, a duplex could be a great solution, but give yourself a little more time to adjust. You husband will be very busy with his school, so you'll enjoy a lot of "you" time.

(btw, I think the first antagonistic poster is scared by self-sufficient women.)

Why not have one house with two separate entrances and living spaces, or a duplex in which each partner has a separate apartment? You own the house jointly and legally, so that the issue of "separation" doesn't come up.

As I understand it, the writer Robert B. Parker and his wife Joan Parker have done something quite like this for some years now, and happily.

My husband and I have been married for over ten years, and spend parts of each week alone. While we initially moved in together in a (large) city that was new to both of us, after several years we rented a small weekend cottage in a rural area several hours away.

I grew up in the country, and had always found the urban environment exhausting; he grew up in a city, and loves the energy. After a few months of weekending together in the country, then working all week in the city, I lost my job. I took the opportunity to start spending more and more time in the cottage, and was able to start a small business in that area. He continues to work in the city, but has a flexible schedule.

So each week we spend a few days together in one place or the other, and a few days apart, doing our own thing. It is delightful! I do creative work that flows best when I am alone. I love silence and solitude and not having to plan the day with someone else. He can work at all hours, and be completely absorbed in the task at hand without distraction. We both can spend time with friends without "taking away" from time together.

Yet on the days we spend together, it feels like we are dating again. We cook together, work on household projects, read to each other, explore, hike, garden, see movies... our relationship feels fresh each time we see each other again.

For us, the change happened slowly, and evolved naturally. I do think it would be a difficult setup to propose outright, especially after only seven months of marriage, and having children might make it quite challenging, and perhaps impossible. But in the right circumstances it can work.

If you do choose to pursue living apart, you might want to first consult a lawyer to see how that would affect the legal status of your marriage. I haven't looked into this extensively, but I understand that in some places the simple fact of living apart is considered grounds for divorce. In some contexts, "separated" is considered a different marital status than "married." I am not saying this to try to convince you to stay living together, just to bring your attention to another aspect of the situation that you should take into account. If you found yourself in a Schiavo situation or some other disaster, the last thing you'd need is not to be considered each other's next of kin just because you need your space.