Letters to the Editor
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two phrases
Two phrases struck me:
"Overwhelming obligations to family"
and
"a hedonistic extended adolescence in which you feel entitled to pleasures".
First--awwww. He's so overwhelmed by his family! The comfortable, assumedly white, upper-middle class (he can afford a nice, young hooker, instead of an old, drug-addled one) man who has healthy children and a wife who obviously is supportive, he suffers SO! This is why Americans, and most people in the First World, SUCK. Jesus. These are our biggest problems? OOh, it's so hard to have a family?! Makes me nuts.
The second is from Cary, and is the best quote I"ve read today. The trend in Western thought to promote sex as an end in itself, a moral goal that equals a fulfilling life, is, frankly, completely and utterly stupid, whatever the French say. The very notion that the whole purpose in life is to find a never-ending supply of hot sex with a 'soul mate' decries thousands of years of history where the goal for humanity was something a little more, shall we say, noble? or at least INTERESTING. Somehow, thanks to Freud, Paglia, and who knows who else, we have elevated getting our rocks off to a religion.
Let's all just shut up about it, feel rightfully ashamed that we are so childish and selfish, and actually go about engaging in real relations with Others. Some of the French (Levinas for example,)at least, aren't endulging in penis-gazing all the time.
Apologies to all French people--it's just too easy, you know?
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In Love with prostitute ....
'In Love' needs to read right this minute a book, whose first version appeared here on salon, back in 2001:
DIARY OF A MANHATTAN CALL GIRL by Tracy Quan.
No, no, no Manhattan isn't L.A., but the job is the same, no matter the location.
The male ego is a wonderous thing.
They really do believe that they are 'different,' in the eyes of those in this industry, and that even if he wasn't paying his employees (or, additionally, as in so many impoverished regions of the world, a chance for a green card to the U.S.), these employees would love to spend their time with him!
F.
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What about STDs?
Maybe I missed mention of it in earlier posts, but there's a pretty good chance this guy is bringing STDs home to his admittedly wonderful yet uninformed wife. His first course of action should be to see a doctor for tests ASAP. And if he comes up positive on any score, Cary's advice must get chucked out the window -- his wife need to know the truth immediately in order to protect her own health.
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some advice from a real whore
Hey wait a sec! I thought I was the only whore who was "not a typical prostitute...more like the girl next door who wants to get paid for her great looks and abundant sexual talents." LOL
You see, the truth is there are lots of wonderful, warm, loving women who are whores. Lost in LA finally found a top notch whore and he, like tons of other guys do, fell in love. Lost never mentions in his letter how his whore feels about the situation which makes me think she's enjoying his company and his money. Ask her if she'd fuck you for free. That's usually the relationship ender. That's when I know that my john has gotten in too deep and it's time for me to ditch him. We are paid to leave.
Never trust a whore - not even the best of us. Our work lives are a charade, a fantasy and sometimes that seeps into our souls. Of course we never speak of the clogged toilet, our own kids who have to be picked up or the nasty gas pains we have. Our skin is always smooth, nails are always done, lingere and stockings are always just so, small talk is always witty, current event knowledge is always up to date...why? Because this is what it takes to be a really good whore. Contrary to popular belief, not all of us are addicted to crack.
I don't know if men and women are meant to be monogamous. I lean towards not. But that doesn't mean that I think Lost should leave his wife. He should leave her only if he is truly unhappy and has communicated this to his spouse and they've tried to work it out to no avail. Don't leave because you've found chemistry - chemistry just doesn't last, whether you've found it with a whore or the chick in the next cubicle who gives it away for free.
And one last thing for Lost to think about...how would you feel if your wife was the one having the affair?
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Hilarious! Best prank advice-column ever!
Cary, dude, you so should have told him to dump his wife and marry the hooker. That's the only thing that could have made this better.
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Why doesn't he divorce her?
I picked up on that line about being smothered, too - this isn't about the prostitute, it's about being unhappy in his marriage. So why not divorce the wife? These days, fathers can get lots of visitation and even custody - getting a divorce doesn't have to mean ending his relationship with his children, just his wife.
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There are more problems here than just infidelity
Cary's response was well thought out, and for the most part I agree with his suggestions. But before Mr. Infidelity does anything else, he needs to get tested for STDs. The letter write stated that he has gone to Prostitutes for release. Meaning that he has slept with more than just one other woman. One of the problems with prostitution remaining illegal in this country means that there is no over site, no regulation, and definitely no testing for the plethora of deadly diseases that can accompany sex. I am hoping that the this guy has some intelligence and uses a condom when he sleeps around, but even so bad things can happen. Condoms break, manufacturing malfunctions can occur, or the condom just might not work. So while Cary might be right about this guy living in his own personal hell without dragging his family into it, if the letter writer discovers that he has contracted anything, he is obligated to tell his wife. The damage that this will cause to the marriage is secondary to his wife's (and his family's) physical safety and her health.
So everyone say it with me, and if we shout it loud enough he just might hear us: GO GET TESTED!!!!