Letters to the Editor
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don't do it!
Cary blew it on this one.
Doubt in this situation most assured does mean "don't." Nowhere does the writer state that she loves her boyfriend; only that he loves her. Cary might have had a point if she'd said "I love this man beyond all reason yet I'm balking," but she didn't. She instead calmly listed his and his family's many romantic quirks. There's a reason people have emotions and should listen to them -- because logic isn't always sufficient to determine the truth of a situation.
So when a person start reducing a decision-making process over something this huge to pro/con listmaking and focusing more on the other's feelings than of her own (except to analyze her possible commitmentphobia), it's a huge red flag that something important isn't being acknowledged on an emotional level. And red flags should be clearly acknowledged as red, not some lovely and strangely compelling shade of purple.
It's bad enough that so many people get married hoping they'll fix their partner along the way. Blithely getting married (at the still-tender age of 31) under the assumption that you'll make sense of the relationship itself along the way is nuts.