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I assume the letter writer is worried about the possible pain/blood, which would make it obvious to her partner that this was her first time. Do gynecologists still 'devirginise' on request? I'd certainly pay the ob/gyn doctor a visit anyway for a birth control prescription and general check-up. I think if she could get the pain out of the way in advance, then she could relax and get over the virigin hang-up.