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I think talking sbout this issue with the other woman is playing with fire as far as his marriage and kids are concerned. The writer should seek to limit this friendship, not expand it with "playful" conversations. I can understand that he can have feelings for another woman and still love his wife, but if he loves the wife (and kids) he will do whatever is necessary to protect the marriage from a tempting situation. If he's smart, he will minimize contact with the coworker, and might best consider changing departments or even jobs.