Letters to the Editor
-
Understanding of complex issues is not aided by oversimplifications
There are so many threads to this discussion, I'm not sure where to begin.
First of all, I think that making these kinds of numerical judgments is inherently flawed because there is no way that the average person is going to come across anything resembling a random sample of women or men (or any group, for that matter). That having been said, I can, but do not, sympathize with this woman. Cary's response seemed astute to me because it touched on my own problems with some (even many) women. No doubt about it, women disappoint me ... daily. Hourly. Men disappoint me, too, but I never expected much from them, and when they act like idiots it doesn't make me look bad by association, so it's easier to roll my eyes and move on.
Our views of the genders as groups also does relate, but in complex ways, to our family backgrounds. I have a great father who loves and values me. I had a mother who had kids because she thought she was supposed to, who expected me to be exactly what she wanted and to reflect well on her, and who, when I turned out not to be a pretty or compliant child, tore down my self-esteem at every turn. Yet, I feel far more comfortable in the presence of women than in the presence of men. With the exception of my husband and a very small number of male friends I have had over the years (none close, because almost without exception there was sexual tension involved in my male friendships on one side or the other or both), I do not relate well to men. I am wary of being around men at all because I am afraid -- and have often been right -- that if I scratch the surface just a little I will find an unreconstructed sexist lurking beneath.
And I suppose that I have been lucky (although I thought this experience was close to universal) to have had a number of wonderful, intelligent, amazing women friends over the years. Which is not to say that I've never had any problems with them, or that we haven't disappointed each other, or even that all of those friendships have lasted. But even the ones that ended badly or just faded away have enriched my life. The truth is that people are too complex to reduce to stereotypes, even when they seem to fit them. I should probably open myself up a little more to men ... and Miss M should open herself up more to women. We might both be surprised at what we find.
-
She's too smart...
for humanity.
-
don't make it a bigger deal than it is
yeah, you're making this WAY more complicated than it is. You don't like ditzy girly girls. Neither do I. OK. Move on. luckily, we all get to choose our own friends. Let them live their lives and you live yours. Why analyze it to death? You march to a different drummer and find fewer people you click with. Fine. Go for quality over quantity.