I'm so glad to hear someone else say what I have been trying to tell people around me for years - that the corporate life is not what it's cracked up to be.

First let me say that in my Father's day, companies were loyal to good employees. You could count on working somewhere for life, and getting a retirement plan to boot. This seems to have all changed - retirement plans were looted (was it the 90's?) and human "resouces" are now expendable. Now an easy way for a company to cut costs is to cut employees.

With the advent of computers, we human "resources" can perform many tasks much more quickly than in the past. At one point, I think it was predicted that this increased productivity would bring us increased leisure - another day off a week maybe. Instead, the fact that we can do more seems to make employers want more. Want ads are peppered with tell-tale nuggets like, "must be able to multi-task", and Ability to work well under pressure, handle multiple projects concurrently and meet deadlines."

After reading "Rich Dad, Poor Dad", it seems clear to me that we are socialized in school to grow up and become employees. Perhaps much of our country is built on the backs of employees, and thus we need the majority of people to become employable. I only wish that the companies that depend on employees could appreciate, nurture, and value them more.

Cary, your advice is always witty and to the point, but this one surpasses most recent entries in its vigor and eloquence! Well done. The system will not resolve the issues of this suffering couple, nor will anyone else, unless they happen to have a dying millionaire aunt somewhere. They have to make their own choices to change the situation. Some of these choices may involve discomforts (income below the perceived needs). So what? There are people out there who have no income at all, yet they manage to survive, and may even be happier in many ways than an average overworked American.

I am an avant garde writer/composer/filmmaker. Not a lot of a possibility for making a living there, not these days anyway. So, at some point I had to make a tough decision: to make a living doing other things. After a number of years as a dishwasher, deli clerk, electrician assistant, etc, I found an opportunity to learn computer programming. For several years, I had a good fulltime job doing that, but at some point I learned that my employer was not willing to grant me a salary compatible with industry averages. Meanwhile, my wife was working as a financial consultant for Wells Fargo, and what with the cost of life in San Francisco, we were still struggling despite the two full-time jobs. So we quit the jobs and became independent contractors. We have not had any long-term job security or benefits since then, and occasionally times were tough, but on the average we have been able to exceed the income we had made in our full time jobs and to create a much more successful life for ourselves.

We would have never been here if we didn't take the risk of quitting the �not so bad� jobs we had.

The remaking of this world into one where individuals have rights and the ability to make a living without working 12 hours a day will not start from the top down. The boss will not suddenly decide to hire an extra temp to offload some of the extra work. No one will help unless one helps themselves.

That was a masterpiece! I'm going to read that column to myself every morning. Why do we all have to be superstars? Think of the incompetent workers all around us. How do they survive? So can we.

Thanks so much for that magnificent column, Cary Tennis, where you asked the questions I should have been asking myself years ago.

Cary - really love your rhetoric about the individual vs. the system. Not so crazy about the advice you gave.

Companies can be as different as people - not surprising since they are made up of people. Some promote a culture of overwork and employees wear their overtime hours like a badge of honor. Others create a more nurturing environment - not necessarily for altruistic reasons but likely because they recognize the cost of losing a good employee.

In any company, there are bad managers. It sounds like the wife has the misfortune to work for two of them.

In this situation, since the husband doesn't complain of overtime, there may also be good managers with reasonable expectations. There's also the possibility that someone (other than the husband) could help her.

Right now, the wife has leverage. Why should she lose that? She's a good and productive worker. Unfortunately, her current workload and overtime are viewed by her immediate managers as merely meeting the expectations of her job. So, by working more reasonable hours & trying not to do it all (your advice) - she will be viewed as underperforming. This could lead to other problems. She could quit (if the boss' harassment escalates as her productivity decreases), miss out on advancement or salary increases, or get fired (for underperforming).

As you mention, these options may be preferable to the status quo - but why not push for something better? Why not use the system to improve the system?

Here's my advice for the wife:

Step 1: Recognize that this situation cannot continue. No job is worth risking your physical & mental health. Talk to your doctor about what another 2 yrs, 5 yrs, 10 yrs, etc. could do to your health. Make a list of everything else you're sacrificing & what you could do with those extra hours.

Step 2: Identify what has to happen to improve your situation. Transfer, different reporting structure, reduction of work, manager taking on more work, a new hire, etc. Also, think about a leave of absence without pay. You need time off and if you can find another job - so much the better. If not, at least you can recharge and see what kind of budgeting you can do. I know that the more I work, the more I spend - I just don't have time to cook, comparison shop, or to do things myself.

Step 3: Document your situation.Pick a time period that's long enough to represent your regular workload & wouldn't be viewed as an exceptional situation (a bad week, holiday rush, etc.). Track your projects and hours - if possible, compare your individual contribution with your department or manager.

Step 4: Go through the channels. Formally communicate this info to both of your managers & ask them for help. For example, start an email or memo like this: Overtime hours for Nov-Dec & request for assistance. Ask to meet with them to discuss how to resolve this problem - include a specific period or date. If they do meet with you, take notes. Write them up - send them copies. Ask for concrete plans & dates.

Step 5: Escalate the problem.If you can't resolve this situation with your two managers (and it sounds like this is the case), go higher. Either to a higher level manager or to Human Resources. Give them all your info - your time tracking, your attempts to resolve through channels, your managers' responses.

Step 6: I'm As Mad As Hell, And I'm Not Going To Take This Anymore! If higher-ups and HR are unresponsive then get out. Or follow Cary's advice and cut back on your hours and work. You did everything you could.