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After reading about "carpet guy," I have to admit that I felt more than a little frustrated with all parties concerned. First, it was quite obvious that carpet guy and co-horts were accustomed to ripping off customers--and you can't reason with con artists. That's for the criminal and civil courts. Second, it was clear that this "dark place" was more about confusion, and the inability to think clearly when one's anger gets in the way of one's logic. Having a receipt AND a check, albeit a bad check, is an admission of guilt, and both should have been taken to small claims court. Writing a bad check is also a criminal offense, and so that should have been taken to one's local prosecutor. The local Better Business Bureau should have been informed as well. In other words, taking a logical course of action denotes a certain level of maturity and ability to know what is your responsibility--and how to defend yourself against fraud and abuse.
I was also perplexed at the series of actions taken by Anne Lamott and church friends, as well as their anger over carpet guy's refusal to see them as somehow too special to be conned out of their money. Self-delusion about one's spiritual immunity to the all-American shakedown can, indeed, darken one's vision of the path in front of her/him. Apologizing to a con artist out of a misguided notion of spiritual obligation, moreover, does not empower the soul. To Ann I would ask, "would you have allowed your emotions to overwhelm your logic or your common sense if you were dealing with a carpet out of your own home?" In other words, the next time you deal with merchants in the real world, assume that they are not likely to give a rat's ass about your church or your religious identity. Assume that you must be an assertive woman who does not allow con artists or other assholes to drag you into emotional perdition, that you don't need to have a man to speak for you or intercede for you. You have the legal tools at your fingertips, and you have ability to write to local newspapers and take out ads, i.e., media tools to expose the wrong-doers, so why don't you use them? Now that would be empowering!
