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My marriage was falling apart from year one but my husband and I kept at it. Got the house, the two kids, the hopes and dreams. About two months before we split for good, I encouraged him to quit his job, buy a new car, hike through Europe. I absolved him of his fatherly duties (and his husbandly ones too). He took a long vacation from work and kept his own hours. Came and went as he pleased. When I was almost hospitalized with spinal meningitis he didn't even know. He regularly came home after midnight with no explanation.
None needed. I could see this sabbatical wasn't helping. He didn't need to just be free. He needed free of me.
That hurt. Bad. And there is no reason I can imagine that would make me feel good about it. But what has made it manageable is to say to myself that it also had nothing to do with me. I had just become THE WIFE. And that was what he longer wanted. He couldn't see me and my trying so hard to see him, just didn't fix it. We signed divorce papers last week after nine years of marriage.
