The option of it is, yes.

Once we’ve lost the sacred duty to Marriage and Family, what fate can await Our Great Nation?

You ask some good questions, but let me turn your question on its head. I think the question unmarried couples have to ask themselves is why NOT get married? If the answers really speak to their beliefs and the life they envision, then their course should be pretty clear.

I think what puzzles me are some of the assumptions I have heard over the years about the advantages of the unmarried state. I have lived long enough to remember when "shacking up" was still a pretty scandalous option. But what I do remember about some of the pioneers of that time is that many of them could be very clear about the legalities of their situation, and dealt with them. For example, I knew one couple who knew from the get-go that they would have to have a total separation of income and material goods, or else they would be bickering over the division of property in the event of a split, just like any married couple. So each had their own bank accounts, they made a list of who had paid for what furniture, they each had their own credit cards, etc. It might sound cold, but this couple stayed together longer than many marriages and their split, except for the initial emotional distress, was fairly easy.

My children are both young adults, so I have talked to them and their friends about adult subjects for years. I'm concerned about the assumptions they make about living together. They think that just because a couple is not married, they can walk away with no hassles.

Well that depends, I guess. How does one get back the money from the credit card you let your boy/girlfriend use? Who gets the furniture you both paid for? What happens to the partner whose name isn't on the lease or mortgage papers? Seems a lot like the makings of a mess that is just as bad as any divorce.

Don't get me wrong. I don't think marriage is for everyone, but living together cannot be approached with a fuzzy head either. Divorce can be nasty, but at least there are laws in place to settle many of the arguments. These laws don't always apply to the unmarried and I've seen their splits get just as messy and tragic as any divorce.

By the way, my post is only about childless couples. Add children to the mix and you have a whole different set of issues.

suspenddisbelief, what do you mean marriage doesn't signify commitment? Just because people get divorced doesn't mean that some of us aren't getting married because we feel that sense of commitment. Most people seem to want to get married out of a sense of commitment, even if in the long run they can't carry it off. I lived with my husband before we got married. Like a lot of people in the survey, we wanted to be together but we weren't ready to be married. When we were ready to make a bigger commitment, we tied the knot. It was part of a continuum of commitment for us.

I made him a promise, and he made one to me, and 16 years later we're still committed. Perfectly fine for others to do it other ways, in my opinion. But, why do you think so many gay and lesbian folks want the right to get married? I expect there are a number of motivations, but among them is the desire to make a commitment. That's why several of my friends have had "commitment ceremonies" in place of the state-sanctioned ceremonies they've been denied.

You can be committed without the ceremony, but for some of us the ceremony really does symbolize something important. Someone else's divorce does nothing to cheapen my commitment, any more than the right of gay people to get married threatens heterosexual marriage.

young people are simply acknowledging the shallow and transitory nature of most human relationships.

Maybe, like me, they don't see any reason to get married. Seriously, if you're not religious, what's the point? It doesn't signify commitment--married people get divorced all the time, and some cohabitating people stay together for decades. Maybe if you're having kids it may be a little more convenient, and if you're in a certain situation, your taxes might go down. Aside from an excuse to throw a big expensive party, what does it matter? I just don't get what the big deal is, in this day and age.

What's the point? Was this worth a post?

For them marriage is everything?

Sex. That's it? Think about, talk about, obsess over sex.

Why not focus on encouraging girls to study math and science? Or push for better family leave? Or more opportunity for mothers to get continuing education. Or anything productive.

If who-screws-who-and-why is modern Feminism, then it deserves to be put out to pasture.

Let's see...why wouldn't couples in love just get married?

Could it be that:

1) They know it's a lot easier to get married than to get divorced?

2) They don't want to make a till-death-do-us-part promise until they REALLY mean it and are REALLY sure?

3) They happen to be of the same gender, and they don't have the choice?

4) They know that romance is wonderful and all that, but living together day-by-day is a very different thing?

5) They know that their taxes will go up if they get married?

6) There are issues they're still working out in their relationship?

7) There are very few things that married people can do that cohabiting people can't?

As long as no chimpanzees, gorillas or orangutans are involved, let them be.