Thanks for sharing some personal history with us. Makes me a little envious though. We often get bogged down in the terms we use to define and describe others, but if we would all just treat each other as human we would all be a little better off.

Let us not forget our dads this year as they played an important role in our lives even if it was to show us what we don't want to be. And let's try to be a little more understanding of those dads that didn't get the job done. After a lot of inner turmoil and soul searching I came to a very liberating understanding: My dad did the best with what he had and that is really all any of us can do.

Happy Father's Day to all the dads who did the best they could regardless of what they had.

Your story made me smile, my father who's been gone for quite awhile now, was more like your father. He expected me to pull my own weight and never made me feel like being a girl was a handicap.

I realize how lucky I was now.

If I'm ever fortunate enough to be a father, I hope I do half as well as yours, Tracy. A salute to you both.

If I'm ever fortunate enough to be a father, I hope I do even half as well as yours, Tracy. A salute to you both.

No parent/child relationship is without its difficulties, but I'm glad my dad never handicapped me with the typical father/daughter expectations. He taught me to take apart everything from the my brakes to my transmission, hiked around the woods with me, forced me to mow acres of lawn (the things a preteen will do for cash) and kept his bewilderment at my punk rock stage under control and let me do what I liked, regardless of gender. Hell, he wanted me to be an engineer (Not even for you, dad. Not even for you.).

Good parents, male, female or otherwise, should never be undervalued.

women might be a little better than ok people.

Never let anyone tell you that you can't do something because you're a girl.

You're very smart; don't ever pretend you're not.

AND

Tall women are always more beautiful. (I'm 5'10")

All this was in the 1960s and early 70s, when it was pretty rare.

This year I put this quote in his card:

"One father is worth more than a hundred schoolmasters".

George Herbert, Welsh poet

I am SO lucky!

I'm glad you shared this. It' so nice to read something moving and heartfelt without feeling manipulated. It's also nice to read something that so well articulates the type of father I hope to be. Thank you.

and impregnate her with alien seed. These fantasticals emanating from the deep, cold recesses of a galaxy cluster no one gives a fuck about will return her, unharmed, whereupon she cleanly delivers a writhing, slimy, horrific creature she would name XFOOZL. I would then treat my daughter as an alien mother and she would get rich charging people fifty bucks to watch her alien son poop white dwarfs and star clusters.

Klaag: Wooden sense of humor. No flexibility. Dates tended to be Dutch treat.

Thong: Flat, but easy. Prone to make funny sounds.

Sneaker: Did lots of stuff on the sly. Kind of moist 'n' stinky.

High heel: Smoked weed and acted like a jerk. Imbalanced.

Orthopedic: Real snuggly, but turned out to be a lesbian.

Snow shoe: Promised to help me over some difficult terrain. But I could see right through her.

Flipper: She wanted to go really fast, but afterward made me walk funny.

Bunny slipper: Great fun, though rather embarrassing in public.

Knee-high leather boot: Hard to get into. Even harder to escape from.

F*ck-me shoe: Was as advertised.

thanks for the article. it struck home.

my dad is here visiting me, so i'll be with him for father's day for the first time in a very long time. he's 80 and doing well, but i am struck by his mortality more on this visit.

he's the one who insisted i know how to change a tire before i could borrow the car, and the one who taught me to love and enjoy the outdoors and camping.

we're going camping for a few days before he goes home. every minute seems precious.

Well, I spent most of this evening as a single dad trying to field fairly direct and explicit questions from my teenage daughters. Trying to tell them the truth as I understand it without getting into gross ick territory. And they love pushing my boundaries, I think. I don't really have the option of telling them to ask their mom, when that stuff comes up over supper (and invariably leads to penis jokes). I'm not too sure how well I did, but it was a little nerve-wracking.

But no, even though they have always been the princesses of my heart, I have never told them that, or tried to make them feel like that. I've mostly just tried to let them know how proud of them I am (and I am), and that I am paying attention (supportively) to what is going on in their lives that they care to share.

But I do hate Father's Day. On many different levels.

To have such a dad. I didn't. Towards the end of his life, while discussing my ex-husband's great love for our daughter, and our only child, my father suddenly said to me, "Don't kid yourself. Every man wants a son." I felt like I had been slapped in the face. Still, I insisted to him that my ex could not love my daughter any more, no matter her gender. I know this to be true. Yet my father continued to argue his point.

When I was growing up, we had 3 female dogs, my mother, me, and my older brother. My father's favorite funny line was telling people he had 5 bitches in the house. Ha ha.

At least I knew enough to marry a man who would treat my daughter like your father treats you, Tracy, and not like my father treated me. Things can get better.