I thought only gay people did weddings these days.

For our wedding, my wife bought a dress that was a stylish bridesmaid's dress, reasonably priced, and also not such an obvious wedding dress that it would be impossible to wear for other formal occassions. I rented my tux.

Weddings don't need to be expensive. Ours was lovely, we recieved many compliments on it, and we were able to host 125 guests at a TOTAL cost of about $5000 (that's $40/guest). We even had an open bar with affordable wines, and beer made by a cousin who was a home brewer as a wedding present.

Besides, one of the leading causes of divorce are problems with money. Sad irony to spend a bunch of money on a big wedding, then end up divorcing in a few years after fighting over the limited resources remaining.

I love a good wedding but sometimes I wish people would invest in premarital counselling more than that one day of their lives. I'm glad to hear that people are trying to save money however they can. They can now afford to buy their own champagne with the hundreds (or thousands?) of dollars they saved on their dresses.

Polyester ain't what it used to be. In the 70s, my mother used to try and make me wear it, and I could not bear the way it felt on my skin. We'd have huge fights about it. The minute I got old enough, I bought only natural fibers just because they permit your skin to breathe, or sweat, or whatever, and they didn't have that horrible sticky feel.

Years later, at my mother's house, I felt a polyester blouse she had on, and I was amazed that it felt smooth. Now there are all types of synthetic fabrics that feel natural. I still won't wear them because I'm afraid they won't let the air circulate, which still drives me nuts, but my mother thinks I'm the one who's nuts because I have to iron my clothes.

During my prime years of bride-and-bridesmaid-gown-buying, which was not all that long ago, the go-to store was a family-owned "little bridal shop" on the order of the place where Maria and Anita worked in "West Side Story." Neighborhood-friendly, caring clerks were well-versed in gowns of all styles and price ranges, and personal attention was paramount.

I pity the modern bride who doesn't have a mom-and-pop-and-daughter bridal salon within easy distance. Buying the most significant dress of your life in a chain store or, worse, on-line, just doesn't have the cachet of hearing the local dressmaker tell you, "Oh, honey, that gown is YOU!"

Did a bit of searching on Craigslist...1000.00 David's Bridal dress, became her wedding dress for the price of 200.00.

My now husband and I paid for our own wedding after 9 years of being in relationship. We lived together for 8 of those, so we already had our household items, our kitchen stuff, our furniture etc. All we wanted was to be able to share our deepening commitment to each other with our family and friends. So we had an informal ceremony on the beach and then a formal reception at a nice restaurant for everyone. I bought a beautiful red full length ballgown dress from David's Bridal that was somewhere in the $400 range including shoes and bag. Loved it, looked great, and could still afford to pay for a really good meal, top-shelf open bar all night, and an afterparty at a swank hotel suite for around $5000. What was important to me was that everyone had a great time and that we didn't have to worry about paying for it for the next 10 years. Our priorities were different because our financial lives are already entwined - I would far prefer to put the $5000 towards a house down payment than on a one-time dress.

I forget the details of every white wedding dress I've ever seen, but etched into my memory are the dresses two of my best friends wore: One married a Chinese man and wore a gorgeous full length red and gold Chinese-style sheath, and the other bought a new, but vintage style green dress with a black dotted net overlay on the skirt, with very cute black open-toed pumps with a flower on the side. Not only can these dresses be worn again (albeit not for everyday use), but they fit the personality of the brides and the guests actually remember what the dresses looked like. And neither dress cost any more than a David's bridal gown.

My sister found my dress at a Goodwill for $12, yes $12. It was gorgeous with embroidery on the boddess, and just full enough to swish, but not so full that I couldn't comfortably sit down. Shoes cost $10 (funky white tennis shoes with 3" heels), and bridesmaid dresses were $79 each from a store online that one of my bridesmaids found.

My husband, father, and an uncle did most of the cooking before the service and transported everything to the "reception hall" (read church gym) that we had transformed with lights and candles from Garden Ridge. All of the sides were brought in by the extended family (casseroles and salads).

Our largest expenses were the photographer and the DJ.

I've been to David's Bridal and actually kind of gag at spending $99 on a dress. Maybe I'm just a little thriftier than most.

For starters, this is polyester crepe de chine, a sort of faux silk, not polyester DOUBLE KNIT. Polyester has been subbing for silk for an awfully long time, since the 60s at least. Before that, Rayon filled in the gap between the most expensive dresses and the modest ones.

There is polyester and then there is polyester. I hated the double knit stuff as a kid with a passion, and spent years in only "natural fabrics" and even I came around with polyester "micro-fiber". It honestly looks and feels almost exactly like silk, only washable, and some variants feel like fine cotton, with the added value of shedding water and drying almost instantly. It's great, great stuff and only a snob would turn their nose up at good quality polyester microfiber (it makes for awesome nylon stockings, too).

Most people aren't, surprise surprise, rich and they can't spring for a $3000 plus dress they will only wear one time. And not only is silk expensive, but it's very hard to maintain -- one tiny splash of water and you have a nasty stain that won't come out. It wrinkles easily. Silk has a lot of marvelous qualities and I love it, but it's high maintenance. And expensive.

A lot -- I mean A LOT -- of women have a powerful fantasy about weddings, and that fantasy includes a LONG WHITE DRESS. Needless to say, WHITE is the hardest color to wear and to maintain. It shows every tiny bit of dirt, sweat, even water marks. It is very harsh on anything but a gorgeous young complexion with good coloring. It makes even slim women looks bulky or fat. BUT IT IS THE FANTASY...the ultimate. It's what Barbie wears. It is what little girl's dream of. So women who are heavyset...or pasty...or over 40...or who have other qualities that are NOT flattered by a white dress...wear it anyhow. And with a vengeance, by which I mean the TIGHTEST, SHINIEST white dress that they can afford.

And in the current style, which I am very sad to say, is a tightly fitted white dress that is STRAPLESS. There have been other lame styles in my lifetime -- remember the fad for high-waisted, Holly Hobbe type dresses? that went on and on -- but for about a decade, it has been STRAPLESS or nothing. And if there is anything that looks just awful on a less-than-perfect figure, it is going to be a tight white shiny tube of fabric (whether real silk or polyester) and is strapless -- it just shows the worst of figure flaws, the heavy arm, the "bra bulge", the least bit of extra weight at the bust or waist.

Most of these brides will be cringing in later years looking at their wedding photos. Alas, what can you do? This is the style and style rules over common sense, good taste, modesty or anything else.

When I got married, I went to Davids and tried on a few dresses. Kate Harding doesn't mention that the OTHER big selling point at Davids (beyond price, which is obvious) is that they sell so much they can stock OFF THE RACK dresses in sizes from 000 to 28. I have been to standard bridal salons, and they just have sample dresses, usually a size 8 or maybe a 10 (and they run SUPER small)...you have to order a dress you can't even try on and just pray it looks OK. At Davids, you can get a dress that fits off the rack, or needs minor adjustments. If you are a full-figured woman, this is a big big deal -- can you imagine the humiliation of trying on a tiny size 8 dress when you are a size 20? (Basically, all they let you do is hold the dress in front of you, since they are terrified you will rip it.)

Personally I find the whole "bridal industrial complex" to be a crock. But that's me. I was married in very simple ceremonies, first time at home and in a tailored cream color linen suit and the 2nd time, at a resort and in a casual lace dress. I just never "got it" and thought I'd feel silly in the usual sort of giant white poofy dress. But that's me. Most women don't feel this way, as I said, they are raised on this dream and the dream is a long white dress and if fashion says strapless, it's gonna be strapless, no matter what the bride looks like or what flatters her.

You just have to give up and accept this, and maybe stop sneering. Not everyone can have silk, just as not everyone can shop for pricey organic groceries or live in a fancy neighborhood. David's answers a very specific need, and answers it pretty well....that's why they are surviving and thriving in a rough economy.