...loads the dishwasher, does laundry (we both fold), vaccums, carpet cleans, and will wash a floor. He will not wash a dirty pot (although he tries to wash them in the dishwasher, as if you can get burnt on food off that way), he will wash floors only with a mop (hands and knees, folks!!!), and he can literally spend 6 hours vaccuming one moderate sized house (while I declutter and dust and do everything else).

It's a mixed blessing, but I'm not complaining. I hate vaccumming and loading the dishwasher and cleaning in general, and left to myself would live like a pig (so would he - we work well together). And he is quite handy are ridding the house of spiders and the yard of dead rodents. Yes... I know... I'm supposed to be a tough feminist, but I hate spiders and dead rodents.

About 15 years ago, I belonged to an online chat group. On Fridays we would always talk about what we were going to do over the weekend. I found out just recently that someone's impression of me was that I was a neat freak. The reason being, pretty much every Friday I would say that I was going to do some cleaning. What she didn't know (because apparently we never compared notes on Mondays) was that yeah, every weekend I PLANNED to finally do that cleaning, but often, it just never happened, or at least not to the level of how I feel a house SHOULD be cleaned. So then I'd feel ashamed, and would have good intentions to do it the NEXT weekend. And then the next, etc. To this day I'm apprehensive of people just showing up at the house - how long has it been since the cleaners were here? I don't think my husband feels that (or at least not nearly to the same extent).

And yeah, the "should" comes from my upbringing. My mother was not a neat freak, but there was definitely only so dirty the house was allowed to get. And that's what I measure myself against.

Another suburban myth that while technically true is not the full story. Men and Women have total time workloads, meaning time spent on house work and paid work, that are about even with men doing slightly more. This does not include commute time which if included ups even further the amount of time men work.

Whether we are achieving parity on killing rodents, changing tires, fixing the roof, mowing the yard, investigating strange bumps in the night, fixing leaky faucets, unclogging drains, plumbing, electrical work, etc? I'm really curious if women are doing more of those things while they nag their husband to do the dishes.

I mow the lawn and my husband doesn't.

As a teen, I planned to live in a non-sexist household, but my mother taught me to iron and sew and my father-in-law taught my husband to change car oil and fix appliances. As adults, neither of us has wanted to spend the time learning the other's skills. So, I do mending and he does appliance repair. (In theory, in practice my cleaner irons and broken appliances never get fixed)

I figure if there are visible insects (ants, cockroaches) in my house, I want the spiders to eat them. If there are no visible bugs (and there usually aren't), then the spiders must be eating something -- probably dust mites. I'd rather have a few visible spiders than a ton of invisible dust mites.

I leave the spiders in peace. They're helping keep the house clean.

"...he will wash floors only with a mop (hands and knees, folks!!!)"

Er...why? Seriously. Are there still certain floors in this day and age that need that kind of treatment?

"Whether we are achieving parity on killing rodents, changing tires, fixing the roof, mowing the yard, investigating strange bumps in the night, fixing leaky faucets, unclogging drains, plumbing, electrical work, etc? I'm really curious if women are doing more of those things while they nag their husband to do the dishes."

I recently put traps down in my parents' house to catch a couple of mice. My dad and I disposed of one (he'd trapped it in a small garbage can, and had to take it outside, so I opened the garage door and helped him carry the can to the main garbage bin on the street.) My mother disposed of the other, which was lying dead on the basement floor. Hope that helps! ;)

Nope, not satisfied. I want studies done and men to agitate for women to pick up half the burden of things men do. Until we achieve absolute parity I have to assume we live in matriarchal society in which men must do mens and womens jobs.

ok, I'm joking, but you get the idea.

"I'm really curious if women are doing more of those things while they nag their husband to do the dishes."

Well, I don't know about anyone else here but I don't go near the roof or the car because NOT ONLY am I too busy nagging my husband to do the dishes, but just this past week I had to polish the ashtrays, shop for new finger bowls for my bridge party, and get home in time to wait at the door for my husband to get back from the pub--with my hair in curlers and a rolling pin in hand, of course.

"Men and Women have total time workloads, meaning time spent on house work and paid work, that are about even with men doing slightly more. This does not include commute time which if included ups even further the amount of time men work."

What the...??? Don't women also commute to work?

Women's "total time workload" tends to involve not only working for pay just as many hours as their husbands, commuting jsut as much as their husbands, and ALSO taking care of the house, the kids, and the husband!!!

I'm not married, but I do live with someone. And we share cleaning duties, I probably do a little bit more but not by much. I'm in charge of killing spiders as he is afraid of bugs, although I only kill the really icky ones I might be the only person alive who thinks that some spiders are a little bit cute. We've never had a rodent problem so I'm not sure who would do that, but growing up I once watched my mom decapitate a snake with an ax and smash a rat to a bloody mess with a shovel, so probably me. He is still amazed and dumbfounded that I managed to fix the toilet when it was constantly running, luckily we live in an apartment so most of the fixing stuff falls to them and there's no yard work to deal with. He changes lightbulbs since he's taller. And even though he probably has 100 pounds on me, I'm the only one who is trained to use the .45 locked up in the safe, so if something seriously goes bump in the night I'll trust myself with that over him and his muscles. He however, is in charge of car maintanence as I'm somewhat phobic about driving into garages and car washes, I know it's weird. So it's not about 'man's work' vs 'women's work' it's about equality according to the strenghts and abilities of those involved and if some of those are against gender norm cool, and if some happen to fit the norms perfectly that's alright too.