Jailhouse rules, jailhouse ethics, jailhouse values.

What did you expect?

It is bullshit what happened to this kid no doubts. But, what does this and the other half dozen or so in just the last week GBT have to do with women's issues?

Preaching that being gay is a sin -- what effect does that have on impressionable youngsters who wonder to themselves, perhaps afraid to speak it out loud, "Homosexual? Is that what I am? Gay is what they call me, so maybe that's what I am." They must wonder if they are sinners, somehow evil, will they therefore be rejected by their churches? by their churchgoing mothers?

There is hope because it seems that slowly it's becoming more stigmatizing to be homophobic than it is to be homosexual. Sadly, though, homophobia persists in the playground, among children and those who act like them.

I never guessed that this would become my soapbox issue - but somehow it has.

It is urgent that parents teach tolerance and acceptance. This is the world we live in. We owe it to our children to do our part molding it into the best possible version of this world it can be.

I posted about this very topic this weekend on my own blog - after a small inquiry from my daughter became, as we say, a "teachable moment."

As long as children are on playgrounds hurling insults, and as long as "gay" carries the sting it carries still today, we owe it to our children to start the dialog.

I look at every child and see a possible reflection of my own - and this variation of the story is too tragic to contemplate. Hate, in any form, should not be tolerated. Egos, self-perceptions, happinesses, and indeed, lives, are at stake.

My signature is the link to my own blog post on teaching tolerance to my daughter. I attempted to post it with comments - and the link was not working. I am trying again.

Not at age 11.

It's about the reaction to any young male who doesn't fit in with the predatory pack values promoted as part of American boyhood, in the this hypocritical society that has made omerta and lawless conduct a rite of passage- providing adolescence a "free space" for conduct that would earn long terms in prison for any adult who engaged in it.

Smoke pot as an adult, and you may be ruined for life.

Commit multiple felonies as a teenager, and no one even has to know about it (exact rules vary from state to state.)

And I'm not surprised to find that the harrassment has intensified over the years. All anyone has to do is scan a TV guide to get some idea of the mind poison consumed by audiences of millions in this country. One reason that I think that public school ought to concentrate on grade 1-6, and giving basic literacy and numeracy skills. We should seriously give consideration to doing something drastically different from the status quo of "middle school" and "high scool", after that. Because all too often, everything after that resembles "Lord Of The Flies." And that's the real problem here.

It must be about "gay"? You have to be kidding.

In a way, accepting that judgement- by a pack of other 11 year olds- just adds to the abuse. Which largely consists of a matter of an entirely different nature- that of people being scapegoated and harassed by their peers, for any of a number of reasons besides their supposed sexual orientation: for having a mentally or physically disabling condition- of even the most trivial or minor sort; for being physically undeveloped compared to their peer goup, and small for their age; for being brought up in a family with stricter traditional values than those of their peers; for having too much intellectual advancement; for not showing approval of violence; for doing or liking anything that "betrays" them as Different, here in the Land Of The Free.

Sexual orientation is part of that. But only part. And by no means inextricably linked, although it seems that both the harrassers and many of the defenders seem to have trouble with considering that possibility, in cases like these.

There's nothing wrong with a young teenager being an object of sympathy and protection for being gay- unless the kid actually isn't gay. Because that only makes the sympathizers more people who don't accept the kid for who he is. The last thing they need.

"It is bullshit what happened to this kid no doubts. But, what does this and the other half dozen or so in just the last week GBT have to do with women's issues?"

Because homophobia reflects societal attitudes towards men and women, even the notion that those are the only two categories.

Guys just think back to when YOU were a kid. Think back carefully.

If you weren't the one bullied or harassed, you have no idea what it felt like as a kid on the recieving end. The teachers were useless. They would just say things like "just ignore them" or other worthless advice which did nothing to SOLVE the situation.

And guess what? The bullies knew you were helpless, and they would attack you mercilessly. They knew you had nothing. They had strength in numbers, so seriously what are you gonna do huh? What are you gonna do?

These "anti-bully" campaigns fail to teach the ONE thing that stops bullies in their tracks. We all know what that is, but we don't teach that to our kids. And that is...

FIGHT BACK. Expect injury, and don't be afraid of it. Everyone takes a beating sometime in their life. These kids are simply not equipped with the knowledge on HOW TO fight back. What are you carrying in your arms? Heavy books. What's that in your pencil case? Pens and pencils. In order words - weapons to fight back with.

Once the bullies see that you're not an easy target, I guarantee you that they will move on to easier prey.