the idea that men are women can be different in ways that matter without either one being inferior. I'm not holding my breath.

(Warning, long angry rant!) Good grief, Hess's article sounds pretty dumb. Sex-positive feminism is still around because the arguments it makes haven't sunk in to regular old mainstream society. Even among educated people, it's still conventional wisdom that men are hornier than women, that that men are "getting away with something" when they have casual sex with a woman, that women need to be bribed with jewellery or Valentine's Day gifts to put out (like in all those clever TV ads), that women only want to have sex with high-status males or that sex is only worthwhile to them in the context of a meaningful relationship, etc. etc.

These ideas remain widespread -- to many American, they seem like common sense, just like the ideas that most women weren't "really" suited for work outside the home, and (with a few exceptions) were much happier raising a family, seemed like common sense 75 years ago. That's why people like these conference speakers are working to change them.

Part of feminism's goal is to fight back against sexist distortions about what women are "really" like. That means feminists can't necessarily just talk about whatever seems most "interesting" or high-minded to them (or to Hess) -- they (we) have to respond to problems we see in the world around us. Nothing purposely "outrageous" about that; it's what any human rights movement does.

"So you're a feminist, and you like sex -- well, that’s normal. So do a lot of people, including a lot of non- and anti-feminists. So what does that have to do with feminist identity?" Actually, it's quite possible to "like sex" but not be sex-positive in the sense that feminists like myself are talking about. For instance, you could be a man & enjoy sex, but think that any woman who enjoys it as much as you must be a "slut," that there's something wrong with her, and that she isn't wife material. For that matter, you could be a Christian fundamentalist who thinks sex is great, as long as it's only performed within certain very narrow contexts. That's not what Annie Sprinkle et al. are talking about, either.

As you point out, it's an awfully privileged stance to say, as Hess does, basically "everyone gets now that women like sex, so you sould shut up about it." Everyone DOESN'T get it.

"claiming a version of sexuality that doesn't include bunny ears and a fluff tail -- meaning one that isn't base solely on male fantasy"

Check. Good thing the enlightened feminists at BS wouldn't resort to extreme statements.

In other words: It's totally passé for a woman to talk about sex without shame.

She did not say that. What she said is that the way feminists go about it is boring. And it is. Very.

A couple of other observations.

Any idea that Annie Sprinkle showing her vagina is somehow pushing the boundries is bupkis, Annie Sprinkle has been showing her vagina to poeple for well over a generation now and will probably be burried in a glass coffin with her legs apart. There's nothing wrong with that per se, but the idea that the part I mentioned before going on about the coffin is new and daring is silly.

Over the years I have heard feminist stereotype men as rapists, claim that heterosex is inherently oppressive to women and then I wind up hearing other feminist, like Lily Bixler, pretend that other people are trying to shame them for their love of sex. The one thing both sides have in common is a sense of aggrievement over how their being oppressed by other people who just aren't able to appreciate the true meaning of feminism they way they are.

It's obnoxious and--guess what?--it's also really effing boring. Honestly.

And, Lily, isn't huffing over a quote from some obscure blogger more of a sign of weakness than of confidence? Sure looks that way to me.

I think you are confusing feminism with representing all women, when in fact feminism represents a small percentage of women. From what I can see, that is a subset of liberal white middle class women who have a history of privilege and apparently a distinct lack of morals.

How nice for that blogger person that she has never experienced being shamed for being female and being sexual and expressing that - is she intelligent enough to comprehend that it is still a problem for a lot of other women, even if it's never happened to her personally? Apparently not.

EmilyH already nailed it - that woman is conflating "liking sex" with being "sex positive", and they are not the same.

And no amount of boring female orgasm essays is enough to make me declare that I'm not having them anymore! (not even in jest)

I just can't help thinking, sex positivity is popular because it's easy and fun and daring! And all that un-fun difficult and frumpy economic stuff - well, we'll just leave that to men...

Weird...and damaging...I saw Richard Goldberg on C-Span last night, talking about Wall Street - the concept of "superleverage" - isn't it easier to just spread your legs and call it art? Labia minora and majora as the true "pink collar" ghetto.

If you think women are being shamed for talking about sex (take that "Vagina Monologues!"), let's try an experment. Let's have a man go unannounced to a meeting of feminists and talk about how much he like having anal sex with his "main" woman and about how much he loves female asses in general. Then watch the sex positivism begin!

1. Men and women are different

2. Annie Sprinkle's vagina is boring

3. Radical extremist feminism represents all feminists

4. All feminists are white, privileged and immoral

5. Women don't have enough time and/or intelligence to be both sex positive and fully engaged with economic issues, and they are unable to care about more than one thing at a time

6. Women think female body parts are exactly the same as art

7. No women have ever been shamed for their sexuality or their expression of their sexuality

8. But if they "think" they have, why it's exactly the same as if a man talked about ass love at a feminist meeting!

Thanks for clearing all that up.