Wow, your SIL sounds like a real beyotch.

How about this, next time she brings up when you gonna have kids crap, just look at her and say never, are you stupid? How many times do I have to tell you I don't want any children. I certainly don't want to go brain dead sitting at home with the kids all day which apparently has happened to you since you just repeat the same question over and over, you poor dear, are you smoking dope and having short term memory problems?

Or you could ask your brother to talk to his wife about the proper way to respect family members and to leave you alone about your womb status.

She's probably one of those people who went on and on about how great motherhood was going to be until it happened, now she's secretly loathing all her lack of freedom and all her personal time lost having to put the kids first and all the cleaning and watching and worry and wants everyone else to join the baby club so they can be just as miserable as she is.

I never understood the not having children is selfish idea, seems to me people who say this are just jealous. Hey, you have to give up your free time and extra income too! Wah, wah wah.

I wanted kids one day and now I'm on my way, I just wanted to party and travel during my 20's. I've been having all this fun and time to myself since I was 14 and bar and club hopping just isn't really fun anymore so now the idea of not going out every weekend just isn't a big sacrafice to me.

I ended all pestering about when I was going to have a baby by responding with when you give me 20 grand(to his family) or I would say I'm not the family brood mare(to my family and others) and just look at them with my pissy face. Generally people are so shocked that they have no way to respond and just quit asking.

Be a bitch, it's fun because being resonable and polite, nope sometimes they just don't stop!

I would just like to echo what DurianJoe already said and add how sorry I am that you had to suffer such an attack from someone who is obviously very insecure in her own life and discontent with her own choices. I had a similar experience with the sister of my ex-boyfriend. He and I had been dating for four years when she started drilling me about having children. She had recently gotten married and had one child herself. In retrospect, I should have been more direct and assertive with her. But I can take some comfort in now knowing that: (1) I made the right decision not to pursue marriage or a family with her brother, and (2) she now has three boys (still hoping to have that girl!) and is in a miserable marriage.

The next time your sister-in-law starts in with you (and believe me, there will be a next time), I would simply tell her, "This is not the time or the place to have this discussion given what has happened in the past." Then walk away. Then, I would sit down and write her a letter. I would tell her that her behavior is simply unacceptable and that if she persists in singling you out on this issue in front of others, you will refuse to attend family functions all together. This will cause other family members to question her on the subject and hopefully pressure her to show you some respect.

It is true that SOME--not all--parents with children feel they have a special right to say what they want to those who are childless. After a heated argument once with a cousin of mine about a topic completely unrelated to children, she said to me, "You'll understand my point of view one day when you have children of your own." As if giving birth is going to somehow make me magically smarter and more insightful? I replied, "No, I think we have a difference of opinion, and I am secure in the life I have right now without children." I haven't heard from her since.

After her long and thoughtful answer to the first question, Rachel Ray was indeed very gracious in her reply to the second, entirely unnecessary and wholly intrusive followup.

Mine would have probably been a neutral stare and the answer, "I believe I've already answered that."

You know, when as a reporter you ask someone a question and they give you a complete answer? It looks pretty dumb to then ask a follow-up question that your subject has essentially already answered. Comes across as a bit pushy and like maybe you aren't listening well, no?

Nothing could persuade me to watch Ray's cooking show - she's cute, but I like my food a little more sophisticated, and with less cheese - but she did a good job handling that question. I don't think I would have been as patient.

Great screen name, by the way.

You have no reason to feel bad or make excuses about your choice. It's your life to live, not anyone else's.

If you don't mind some advice: don't take any more abuse from your nasty sister-in-law. She obviously has no problem hurting you. The next time she nags you, let loose on her. Based on what you wrote, she is a bully and does not expect you to fight back (verbally). Let her have it. She deserves it and you'll feel better. I can tell you this: she already doesn't like you, or respect you, so don't worry about hurting her feelings and making her mad at you; she already is.

Good luck.

Um,

I hear what you are saying...I don't think that it is only acceptable for a woman not to have children if she has a successful career. All woman should be able to make that choice regardless of career. My career is my priority, and it's a very good excuse for me not to have children. Honestly, I just don't want kids. Unfortunately, people do not appreciate honesty on this subject. When you are honest, they like to imply how selfish it is to not have children or to ask you whether you feel like you are missing out. They like to remind you of all the resources available to you to enable you to have children. It is easier to lie.

This is a very real issue for me. I have a sister-in-law who just won't let this issue go. Every single time she sees me she has to ask me when I am having kids and don't I want to have them IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE-- like at my niece's first birthday party. I'm not even married (technically). This question is painful. It would be fine if she really were curious, but her motivation is to humiliate me or make me doubt myself. I have tried to be polite to her and explain that my priorities are different than hers: while she always wanted to be a stay at home mom, I always wanted a career. This resulted in her saying FUCK YOU! to my several times on Christmas Eve.

I feel like it is the mommies against the childfree. I wish it were not, but it sure feels that way. My friends with kids are less aggressive than my sister-in-law, but even they make little stabs.