This is the kind of statement (usually but not always made by a woman) that makes this usually-sympathetic man wonder if women are really alien life forms. Brave? Is that really the word you meant to use?

Bravery means you ignore danger to accomplish an important goal. I fail to see any danger or an important goal in these confessionals. Being honest is an obligation for any moral person, that's not brave. Telling other people how one feels is a choice one makes, in many cases designed largely to make oneself feel better about oneself. That is not brave. Taht is self-indulgent. There is no danger, other than a danger of ridicule, which is self-created by the choice to share. There is no goal accomplished, other than the satifaction that comes with self-indulgence.

I really don't get it. I mean, in some cases, the sharing is interesting, but to say it's brave (and by implication important and dangerous) is quite an exaggeration.

Reminds me of an observation I read once in one of those silly "How to Get Laid" articles, that the way to spot a gal who'll be great in the sack is to notice how enthusiastically she enjoys life's other sensual pleasures, such as good food, dancing, etc. A good point, I thought. Someone whose basic approach to life is pinched or rejecting isn't so likely to have a fundamental personality change when it comes to sex-- although that certainly isn't unprecedented.

This won't be the key for everyone, and may not effect some women at all, but whenever I took the birth control pill, even the low dosage pills, my sex drive took a nose dive. I was 30 years old, on and off the pill for decades, before I made this connection. Then I googled to see if I was just crazy, and found there have been scientific studies which found decreased libido as a side effect of use of the pill, with the potentiality to be a permanent impairment (even after the woman stops taking the pill) after very prolonged and uninterrupted use. So, if this is true, it's no surprise if there's a tragic generation of women who can't find their libidos.

Exactly what makes you think that just because these women aren't having sex, they aren't having a sensual existence? Do you have to be sexually active to enjoy food? music? sitting in the garden on a warm day? the pleasure of making a physical effort? If you think so, you're the one who's limited.

Fascinating yes – but not brave. I think the author of yesterday’s article just sounded scared and beat. It’s not just sex she’s given up on - she’s given up on taking chances and possibly being rejected. I don’t see how you can have any sort of real zest for life when you’re afraid like that. Sure the garden and sunshine are nice – they won’t reject you but they can’t love you back either. Even cats are only in it for the treats and belly rubs.

I think I’m about done with all these ‘over share’ articles. It’s one fad I really can’t wait to see end.

Women's sexuality is so complicated. Off the top of my head I can see any of the following reasons for low libido:

1) Stress - workplace insecurity (recession)

2) Stress - financial (recession)

3) Stress - family (childcare and eldercare ... even single women take on the lion's share of eldercare.)

4) Physical exhaustion (from all of above)

5) Constant ridicule in every form of media of women's bodies that do not look like Kate Beckinsale's (actually, even Kate is a "fatty" ...)

6) The prevalence of unreported rape or sexual assault which can have impact on sexuality even decades later

7) Lovers who are less than, shall we say, skilled (even a really sweet guy might not know what to do down there)

8) Unavailable or expensive birth control (The Pill, IUD, and so on are not covered by insurance a lot of the time.)

9) Available birth control that is unreliable (condoms, sponges)

10) Hormone changes due to menopause

11) Previous unwanted pregnancies and the emotional fallout of same no matter the outcome

Gosh, just *listing* all that makes me want to curl up with a bowl of Haagen-Daaz in my footie pyjamas!

... by the mass media, because getting people to think that other people are having more sex than they are is the key to selling everything from movies to diet colas.

The truth is that people go through various different developmental phases in their life. Sometimes sex is incredibly important, (and it is never more important than when it is not available) but mostly, particularly as one gets older, other responsibilities take over and sex, like eating out in a restaurant or perhaps sampling a fine wine, becomes an occasional pleasure rather than one's total raison d'etre.

Lovely how most of my life is shaped to be anecdotal, but... I ask is it really that shocking for Americans to be so uptight about sexuality?

I mean really?

(Here's the anecdotal bits) As a nation we're repressed, sensually/sexually. We have laws declaring what is appropriate for intercourse/sexual relationships. We have laws about adultery, affairs, crimes of sex, porn, restrictions on dress, rape issues... We're reproductively dysfunctional and yet nearly every portrayal of sexuality in our media is OVERly sexual, OVERly promiscuous, and it gets treated as such. We get so uptight about wardrobe malfunctions and a little skin (WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN) that we pitch a societal fit if two guys/women hug in public.

And we're shocked, dismayed, or perplexed that people are ashamed to admit they don't have a hyperactive sex-drive? With how obsessed our culture is with sex (how right it is, how wrong it is, are we having too much, am I having too little) do we really have the right to be amazed when someone admits to being nervous about sex?

Someone point me to a media outlet that deals with Sex in a healthy, both-sides-are-respected kind of way. I don't think you can, because (another anecdote here, weeee!) I never see a portrayal, in the media, of a healthy sexual relationship. There's not drama in healthy relationships (sexual or otherwise).