bloorstmystery is just about the only sane person who's posted a letter so far. The rest of you (and you know who you are) ought to go back and re-read it.

Women are attracted to confidence. Guys know this. And they know confidence sometimes manifests itself as cocky self-assured arrogance. Real confidence is hard to come by, so the easy trick is to shortcut straight to asshole. I don't think it's much more complicated than that.

If I'm not seeing anyone and need a one night stand once in a while, I might humor the guy acting like a caveman for my own purposes. In terms of relationship material, however, I require someone respectful knowing that I too shall reciprocate with the same respect.

Why do you do this? News flash: the assholes aren't interested in a relationship either. Don't you see that by 'humoring' them but reserving your relationship demands for nice guys, you're doing the assholes a double favor, and by fulfilling all their needs you're just encouraging the asshole behavior and allowing it to thrive in our society? Did it ever occur to you that 'nice guys' aren't exactly averse to random sex either, the difference being that they would NOT be averse to something more if you wanted it? Did it ever occur to you that guys don't have an equivalent choice, as they don't have girls hitting on them wherever they go? Did it ever occur to you that we might possibly resent the idea that you use us as a crutch only when you're feeling vulnerable and want some stability after you've already all worn out from your wild romps with the douchebags?

Whatever, this is pointless. No amount of yelling or argument will bring back my missed youth. You all just keep doing whatever the hell you're doing.

" because I have worked so hard and focused so much on career and success to date a fat girl with a great personality."

If you've only worked on a career to bang hot dumb chicks, you don't deserve success.

Nor do you deserve that fat girl who's an actual human being, unlike you.

Go take a long walk off a short bridge.

I'm not really violent, but if I hear one more person accuse women of having "power" by "granting access to sex" I might punch them in the face. It's disgusting. Gross, insecure men like you decided that sex is something to attain by conquering the foe, the woman, and then blame the woman for their own sickness and delusions.

Men did not 'decide' anything. It is a force of desire that is inside of us-- in our every cell.

I guess you superior women (with no sex drive) have it all over us poor men with this primitive drive, huh?

So, if women have no power to grant love, affection and sex, then all men can just rape at will? I miss your point.

Should men just play with themselves until they create a baby in their palm?

Again, I fail to see how it is someone gave you a college degree, much less three of them.

You have a rotten attitude towards men because you THINK you cannot have the pretty ones. You are thus as shallow as ANY man has ever been.

Get a personality transplant and the pretty ones will grant you access to sex too.

There is definitely something to wanting what you can't have (or shouldn't want). And it plays everyone, men, women, straight, gay whatever. Especially when we're young and learning how to treat each other in relationships. High school (& college) students often treat someone who is needy (but otherwise a catch) with disdain while the uncatchable jerk leaves us wanting more. We're all trying to play the field a bit, and those who play nice often get nothing (at least in the short run).

This is nothing new to humanity, or anything caused by feminism. Though, feminism has allowed women to have different traits, hobbies desires. Or make their own demands from a relationship. There are no "rules" anymore, that's just the way it is.

And that makes dating complicated. Not because of feminism, but because there are so many different viewpoints on relationships. It's difficult on men, it's difficult on women. I'm glad I'm married.

since very few men are "winners" and therefore very few men have any basis for real confidence they have to try and fake it and faking it convincingly takes time, and a lot of trial and error, to learn.

"Go take a long walk off a short bridge."

That should read, "Take a long walk off a short pier."

Talk to a real woman

Indeed, where are these real women?

Seems that if the girl is attractive, she maximizes her ability to get shallow pretty boys by becoming a skank herself.

Leaving the less desirable girls to remain REAL.

a chicken and egg conundrum but one that WOMEN CHOOSE nonetheless to indulge.

You just exemplified what it is to be an attractive young man.

I have no idea what you look like, but I would definitely consider sleeping with you as a far more pleasing prospect than many pretty guys I know.

I don't know if you wrote that way as a ruse, or to 'seem' enlightened, but I hope not.

Being respectful, witty, intelligent, and thoughtful is amazingly classy, and you have impressed me more than any guy our age has in quite a long time.

I hope every other guy reading takes a lesson from you... I'm surely smitten!

Look, I don't know what you dealt with in the past but I truly believe you have real issues. I will try to explain where I am coming from as best I can.

Right now, all I care about are:

My Career/Family/Friends

Social Life/Fitness

My Sex Life.

All I want from women right now is the opportunity to continue to meet some attractive, conversational and compatible women and have a good time. One that involves but is not necessarily limited to sex.

I have been single a long time - mainly by choice - and I have had a great deal of adventures and cannot complain.

I am not some loser living in my mother's basement.

I am a very upwardly mobile and athletic young man living in the greatest city in the world. (My handle should give you a hint)

But I decided a long time ago - I want certain things. Safe Sex and companionship with no strings is one of those things.

I am not a "nice guy".

I am a reformed nerd who learned very quickly that I would have to reinvent myself to get what I want. I do not blame women for anything, but maybe my tone comes off wrong. I just don't understand women.

It never ceases to amaze - when doing plain vanilla dating -how much bullshit is involved. However, when I involve in less vanilla activities - ie. Swinging/Casual Encounters - etc... I meet women who have as much of a "lust" for life as I do.

Where do they hide normally ?

That is the only thing frustrating. As a Straight Man, you will almost always pursue.... As such you will need to learn to play the game.

I don't want to talk LikeLife, I want to get drunk, I want to screw, I want to party - And I want chicks who want the same and want to have a good time.

Why is that such a bad thing ?