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I can tell a guy is nice by certain indicators:
1. He does not ogle every passing woman in my presence.
2. He treats other people well and just not me.
3. He is not a cheap tipper. Having waited tables long ago, I am quite wary of cheap tippers. I think cheap people are emotionally restricted/constipated.
4. He treats waitstaff respectfully and doesn't try to flirt with the female server, which actually makes many of them uncomfortable, although they have to smile back.
5. He doesn't trash all the women in his past. If a man talks badly about other women early on, he completely loses me. Why would I want a man who dislikes or has big issues with women?
6. His friends are nice people too. If a man seems nice but all his friends are jerks? Birds of a feather ...
7. He has reasonable social skills. Truly nice people bother to learn them.
8. He isn't a cynic or a misantrophe.
9. His smile reaches his eyes.
10. He has a sense of humor that doesn't depend upon sexual innuendo or verbal cruelty or scarcasm.
The last guy who tried to date me lost me on 5 and 8, plus an air of desperation.
now that I think of it I don't like scar-casm very much either. People who go around saying, "Omigod, I have so many wounds" are awfully exhausting.
