But like most things said about "new men" by "new women" its total bullshit. The problem that is occurring is as the author states, there is a double standard. While women have been (rightly) freed from limiting gender stereotypes, men are every bit as constrained as they ever were--socially not allowed to show weakness or emotion, emotionally castrated as much by women as men. It's pervasive, endemic, and it isn't going to end until everyone realizes its a problem. Men aren't allowed to be anything but a stereotype. If they are sensitive they are called "fags" by straight men, straight women, gay men and gay women. Suck it, ladies, you have created this problem with us.

I was in the first generation (mid-60's) of young men wrestling with the changing expectations of women. It became obvious almost immediately that if I was myself, the right situation would eventually evolve. I did, and it did.

What women "want" is simply rational behavior. Sometimes chivilary is nice. Other times, they demand cold equality. Which times are which will be obvious to the "right" mate.

And, this cuts both ways. Men get what they give.

Woman have so many more dimensions in the current era. Indiviuality has a greater chance of surfacing. This is a great opportunity for men, not a cause for frustration. What these younger men are experiences is their own immaturity...which is a good and natural thing. It's a mistake to make more more out of it than it is.

It's an old story that girls say they want nice guys, but won't date them. People have been talking about this since at least James Dean, but probably long before that.

Guys trying to be attractive to women by playing to what they think women will like is also an old story -- as old as the peacock. That it's now an industry? Meh, that just says something about our interesting commercial culture -- not about gender roles.

It's a non-story to claim that this has anything to do with feminism or gender role confusion.

How about just being an authentic person and treating the other person as a "real person" too? If a man thinks he has to be a certain "type", then he's probably going to find women who are a certain "type" also, and neither is being their authentic self. They get together, they continue to act a certain way (because that's what attracted the other), and then they get married and wonder, "What happened to the person I married?"

Solution: be courteous to everyone, be interested in other people (even if they're not your "type"), and don't be a jerk. Realize that there's no monolithic "feminist" or "masculine" agenda; everyone has their own issues. Start thinking of the other sex as individuals with their own desires.

I really haven't seen many such situations in my American experience. That may be because most women I dated were my age (27 or older at the time), and thus not rule-book-following teenagers anymore. But mostly the thing was simple--we tried to talk, get to know each other, and see what common interests there were, what things we liked doing, and, sooner or later, what we thought about sex.

More often than not we didn't really get it going--I didn't like her, she didn't like me, whatever. But later on, sometimes out of places I had not expected anything at all (Barns and Nobles bookstores, a Starbucks, my first Russian course, a library) something started that went much farther. I don't know--I ask all of you who do have girl/boyfriends now--was it really so hard to find this guy/girl? Did you really have to sweat so much?

Hugh Jackman.

Can anyone live up to this?

If hot girls don't want to date you because you're not a big enough asshole, then they're idiots.

The question people young men should be pondering is not, "why won't hot girls date me" but rather "why would I want to date an idiot?"

One's standards for physical attraction should be on par with one's standards for basic intelligence.

If they're not, that's what causes conflict, not the fact that women wish to have the opportunities that were previously denied to their gender.

Riiight.... because I have worked so hard and focused so much on career and success to date a fat girl with a great personality.

Stuff it dude. I as a youngish man want what I'm attracted to.

A guy can be bright, buff, beautifully handsome, funny and extremely nice and sensitive, but, often this is still not good enough. If the woman you have set your sights on recently broke up with a tall guy and you are tall, you havn't got a chance. Also, if she's in some kind of independent phase in her life, and you are nice to her, she may give you the brush off, because she's looking for a brief hookup with an asshole. This is why some guys suspend the Mister Nice-guy persona, and just play the numbers game, meet as many women as they can, and a certain per centage will fall their way. It may be cold and ruthless but it works, and there's less hurt involved. The nice thing about women is that they really seem to know what and who turns them on. When they've made up their mind, that's it, but heaven help you if she thought you were like some wonderful Sergio in her past, but you turn out to be just plain Bill, and very different from Sergio.

Then, you're done.

Once you've learned to do what drives most women crazy in and out of the bedroom, you've got it made. This means you must first learn to really enjoy your life, so you can be light hearted and confident, which then makes you a veritable chick magnet. And then, after you've figured what drives them into escatic flights of pleasure, you will have a pretty good time enjoying friendships with the opposite sex.

Ducks? Well, women are like ducks because different women imprint on different kinds of men at different times in their lives. You can have the wildest sense of humor in the world. Some women will love that. Another type might easily take offense and want to pick apart your jokes or gags or ironic remarks, and you're done before you start with them. If you are dark, they may like light. If you are skinny, they may like snuggly heavy guys. Don't take it personally. If you like to look people in the eyes and hold their gaze, some women will immediately undress, and others will find you terribly intrusive. You may meet a perfectly lovely female, but if she's not at a place in her life to have a relationship, you are wasting your time. It's time to move on.