I was in the first generation (mid-60's) of young men wrestling with the changing expectations of women. It became obvious almost immediately that if I was myself, the right situation would eventually evolve. I did, and it did.

What women "want" is simply rational behavior. Sometimes chivilary is nice. Other times, they demand cold equality. Which times are which will be obvious to the "right" mate.

And, this cuts both ways. Men get what they give.

Woman have so many more dimensions in the current era. Indiviuality has a greater chance of surfacing. This is a great opportunity for men, not a cause for frustration. What these younger men are experiences is their own immaturity...which is a good and natural thing. It's a mistake to make more more out of it than it is.

How about just being an authentic person and treating the other person as a "real person" too? If a man thinks he has to be a certain "type", then he's probably going to find women who are a certain "type" also, and neither is being their authentic self. They get together, they continue to act a certain way (because that's what attracted the other), and then they get married and wonder, "What happened to the person I married?"

Solution: be courteous to everyone, be interested in other people (even if they're not your "type"), and don't be a jerk. Realize that there's no monolithic "feminist" or "masculine" agenda; everyone has their own issues. Start thinking of the other sex as individuals with their own desires.

Brilliant!

If I'm not seeing anyone and need a one night stand once in a while, I might humor the guy acting like a caveman for my own purposes. In terms of relationship material, however, I require someone respectful knowing that I too shall reciprocate with the same respect. My current boyfriend won me with his kindness, entertaining stories, and home cooking (not to mention he's completely adorable).

Immature assholes will attract other immature assholes. I actually don't mind if a few dudes suddenly feel they need to act this way, since it separates the wheat from the chaff and allows you to immediately ascertain if he's worth the time.

My friend just had an experience with a dude in his mid-30s who was very sexually attractive when he was kind, but after about a month he inexplicably started to insult and degrade her in strange ways. After that, the thought of interfacing with his "man parts" was pretty revolting to her.

This stuff is not as hard as everyone seems to want to make it.

I understand why everyone wants to fall back on cultural standards and societal cues to know how to act; I just don't think it's necessary. Like a growing number of 20-something males, I've learned that if you approach people with respect, these things are easy enough to sort out between consenting adults.

I think what I'm trying to say is: there never was an obligation for feminism to provide a dating guidebook. Nor should there be an expectation. Are we trying to say, "Sure, we [powers that be] will accept feminism, equal rights and all that includes, but only on the condition that you're clear about what you want so that we can [with our shriveled cave-man, really-just-tools-for-seed-sowing minds] can understand the new rules." I feel like this sort of article reenforces that notion.

Maybe other people my age feel the burden and baggage of tradition and traditional roles more than I do. But I can tell you that when you approach people with honest respect and conduct yourself continually with such respect you:

a) Are able to date more or less as often as you want with overwhelmingly—though luckily the future of indie-rock, not exclusively—positive results.

b) Find that each relationship you're in is a little bit different from the last in meaningful, often educational ways.

and c) Learn that traditional gender roles are good for a whole lot less than you thought they were.

And the best part is, it does not not matter whether you become "a husband, a co-parent, a sperm donor, a relationship, a threesome, or a temporary place to live," it's no body's business but your own.