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Thursday, November 20, 2008 12:00 AM

Dudes try "dating Darwinism"

An author argues that angry young men are becoming assholes to try to get women.

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  • Friday, November 21, 2008 07:44 PM

    @ Anonymous_Too : And sometimes bars are just for having a drink or two.

    Not every woman who goes to one is looking to meet men.

    I it is odd to me also that men complain that they can't meet women on the street. The last place I want to meet a man is on the street. How can one make any judgment at all of a man met on the street. If a man is obviously trying to pick you up on the street, then it is clear that he is probably attracted to your looks and willing to move in on you on that basis alone.

    Now one could decide that is fine based upon his looks alone, but I have never in my life wanted a man based on looks alone. I think we are back to the fact that men may just be more driven by the visual than women.

    On tactics: The Neg. The idea that a man puts himself in a better (superior) position by saying something mildly negative to a woman, thereby wounding her self esteem enough to provoke her interest in him. First, I think that is a pretty stupid idea. It never worked on me. Second, once I read about it, I told every woman I know. My daughter also told every woman she knows. Moreover, she won't go out with a man who says anything negative at all early on. (She's all into positive vibs.) So what sort of woman does that leave who is vulnerable to that tactic? Dumb ones and women with low-self esteem. My notion is that the only man who really wants a woman with low self esteem is a man who either feels bad about himself or one who intends to be abuse in some way.

    I really do think it is true that men don't like it that there are -- in their opinion -- no rules and that they thus don't know how to act to achieve their ends. What they are missing is that women have to do without the rules as well. Women are also confused -- especially young women.

    This isn't feminisms fault. Feminism was simply pursuing a better life for women. Of course that meant a breakdown of the old rules, which were essentially disempowering. However all that freedom isn't always freeing and can provoke a certain anxiety.

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