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Thursday, November 20, 2008 12:00 AM

Dudes try "dating Darwinism"

An author argues that angry young men are becoming assholes to try to get women.

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  • Saturday, November 22, 2008 08:51 AM

    dating, rules, game (@ Anonymous_Too)

    What you say has a lot of truth in it, Anonymous_Too. I will maintain that there are genuinely unskilled boys who need guidance, distinct from those kinds of Nice Guys who are passive-aggressive manipulators trying to get what they think they deserve. But your post makes one thing very clear: 'the Game' and strategies such as negging are not the kind of coaching that will help them. (In fact, I'll bet that genuine good guys will not fail to have at least great doubts, probably be simply repulsed, by this kind of manipulative strategy.)

    Some men do need some coaching (and I'll bet some women do, too). I was pretty nerdy, and because of my ingrained distrust and even hatred of pretty much everybody else, I certainly lacked in all kinds of social skills (not only dating ones). My appearance was not simply naturally bad, I also stank and wore the worst kinds of clothes you can imagine. My sisters took care of me in my last year in highschool, and changed my image, which affected how others and I myself saw me. They also polished my skills at interacting with others, and pointed out all kinds of wrongs things I was doing ('Why don't you sometimes smile at people? You don't have to be a walking smiley, but frankly you also don't have to look like you constantly have a lemon in your mouth!', etc.)

    But all in all, I think I agree with you. If you have a personality, and if you don't seem to be so darn dependent on getting a woman for self-justification ('scoring'), if you do have principles and ideals all your own that orient your life, you end up becoming interesting to others. Being desperate isn't going to help.

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