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almost giving hope to her belief in some fundamental capacity for growth and change in how we could be with each other, some unplugging-from, something transformational. Humans in crisis/chaos as a gift of feminism/scary unscripted territory tend to be more open to therapeutic suggestion for growth – change seems like a good idea at the time. But we are loaded with so much.
The barriers to authentic and autonomous intimacy and relatedness are ancient and about risk and vulnerability against safety and trust, more deeply about unconscious archetypes and their normative constructs of fecundity for women and of status for men. In our wildness, death was invited by the gravid female and by the unguarded, empathic male. Acts of love and relatedness become calculated risks.
"But really, that's a terrifying remark. and THAT is what guys don't get- what I was just saying about physical power.
Actually I DO get it. That is the REASON (along with the fact that they are the ones who get pregnant) why women have such biologically based different attitudes towards sex than men do. Figuring out what to do about it is the problem."
dick dworkin
No way out, of course. As if, anymore than death herself, the costs to unencumbered intimacy and freedom imposed by procreation - and its nearly pathological need for mating systems, male competion, pair-bonding, sacrifice of self to offspring - could be interrupted!