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Thursday, November 20, 2008 12:00 AM

Dudes try "dating Darwinism"

An author argues that angry young men are becoming assholes to try to get women.

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  • Friday, November 21, 2008 11:50 AM

    Don't get it

    I'm really, truly not surprised that a female writer is not going to get the problems of dating from the male perspective. I'm not saying one set of issues is any more or less difficult than any other, because I surely wouldn't trade places with girls in the dating arena, but the things that men have to do to get dates are fucking ridiculous.

    Regarding the pickup community, as it were, all the issues you're talking about have and are addressed in a variety of venues. The problem you've got is that you're taking a very, very shallow slice of the pie, namely this Mystery guy and his show, who is a pantload and completely obsessed with lines and tactics. (Note that this doesn't make him wrong. Most of his stuff is dead-on and works well for what it's intended for.) But if you're going to meet a woman of any intelligence and character and keep her around for any length of time, you're going to have to have an honest interaction with her. Women are absolutely not stupid and don't get tricked into relationships. Not the ones you want anyways.

    The thing is, all this you-have-to-have-a-real-human-interaction-stupid stuff is in the material, but the focus necessarily has to be directed towards the part of the interaction that most guys have the most trouble with-- specifically, when you see a girl on the street that you'd like to get to know better, how do you demonstrate to her that spending time with you (in a sexual kind of context) is worth the bother? Any reasonably attractive girl has plenty of offers, whether she recognizes them or not, and you have to cut yourself from the herd.

    And *you* are going to have to do something, and no, having a human conversation is impossible, because society dictates that you are an automatic douchebag if you're talking to a girl you don't know. "Why don't guys just talk to me" BECAUSE THEY CAN'T UNLESS THEY KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING. I'm pretty good at this, but I got that way because I worked at it. You have to cut through a lot of bullshit just to have an actual conversation with a girl you don't know and it's very, very hard. It's easy to just meet people through friends or work, but if you don't have those social connections, what do you do? I guarantee there are a lot of nice guys out there who you'd like to meet, who'd like to meet you, but they don't have the skills to cut through the social barriers, and women, as a general rule, are not going to do it for them. The community, as it were, is providing the nice guys who you'd like to meet an avenue to make this happen. If that VH1 douchebag came up to you, who really would be fooled if they didn't want to be? I mean, seriously.

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