kufir, did you just try to think of something worse to say than the things she mentioned in her interview? If so, you succeeded.

thank you, Ms. McCracken for teaching me something about pain and grief. I am so sorry for your devastating loss.

For a minute there I forgot that some people are just irredeemably evil. Wastes of carbon, like Gacy or Hitler.

Then you popped in to remind me that yes, you are still alive and still a disgrace to the species.

Can you not just be flattened by a bus, already?

Shame on you. To equate this loss with your description is obscene, pornographic even. There is simply no logical comparison between the two and the fact that you insist upon one merely confirms my opinion of the general level of intelligence prevalent amongst those who think like you do.

What happened to Elizabeth is doubly tragic because there is no explanation, nothing obvious. When someone miscarries we are often wont to say that it was "nature's way." Indeed this is often the case. But when one loses a child at term, a seemingly perfect baby with nothing obviously wrong it defies our logic. Life and death is a mystery that we will never solve. Cherish life, be careful, but live.

How happy I am that you have a new baby Elizabeth! Don't make the same mistake that my mother made, in similar circumstances as you. It was years before I learned that I wasn't an only child after all, that indeed, I had a brother. An older brother that had died just as he began to live, just like your baby.

It took a psychic, who insisted I was not an only child to prompt me to confront my parents. Mom has still never come to grips with it. Me? I talk to my older brother every once in a while and I have no doubt that he is there, somewhere.

I applaud the courage of women who are confronted by a tragic prenatal testing result. Your choice is correct whichever you choose.

And Elizabeth, may sunshine and fragrant flowers grace the path of childhood to come.

Cheers!

What grace and humanity in the face of such a devastating loss. I very much want to read Ms. McCracken's memoir.

And, Editors, if there is any way that first posting can be erased, please do so. Such ugliness is completely out of place here.

I've sent a letter to the editor to say the same.

My experience includes 2 miscarriages and 2 live births. The miscarriages were very early and I had sorrow but resignation.

However, while carrying my term babies, I know that when they quickened (kicks, etc.) I began to think of them as real persons that I couldn't wait to meet.

Carrying a baby to term then losing him is a tragedy I can't bear to imagine. What incredible pain.

Elizabeth, my best wishes and congratulations on continuing life.

I'm acquainted with grief. My partner of 7 years suffered a cerebral hemorrhage at age 30 and died two days later, never having regained consciousness.

Words are always inadequate but words (and hugs) are all we really have, so I thanked anyone and everyone who had anything to say, even the one who told me that I was "so lucky," which I really had to think about for a bit. Yes, I *was* lucky to have had him in my life for as long as I did.

Many thanks for posting this.

Richard Jasper

East Amherst, New York

My mother had a nearly identical experience (my younger sister did a backflip in utero and strangled on her own umbilical chord a couple of days after her due date), up to and including giving natural birth to a dead child, and suffered grave internal injuries in the process. I was too young to follow everything that went on, but she describes an outpouring of support from friends and family and the medical community. Not that it was anything but a nightmarish experience, but I don't think she went through this particular social hell.

I'll ask her about it maybe, next we speak, and if she's interested in following up, maybe I'll get some insight into why her experience was (I believe) different than the one described here.

If you think it's hard to hear about, just imagine going through it. it sucks. sometimes "cautionary tales" happen to real people.

When I was still in medical school I assisted in the birth of a term stillborn infant. I already had a toddler of my own (after several miscarriages) and even after > 20 years I can still remember the details.

Everything had been fine until a routine exam failed to detect a heartbeat -- the young woman was brought to Labor and Delivery, surrounded by the hustle and bustle of a large inner city birthing suite. She was assigned to one of the interns because this was clearly low-risk (not requiring more senior supervision) and she and I spent all night at her bedside -- in one of the back rooms. It was surreal as the pain of childbirth is often tempered by the knowledge that a magnificent "prize" made it worthwhile -- but of course, not in this case. It was excruciating and the final delivery of a physically perfect, beautiful full-term girl into a completely silent room is an image I still carry. The nurses were tremendous -- bathing the child and swaddling her. They had strongly encouraged the parents to hold their little girl and though I never saw the parents again, I felt that they had started the healing process in the room that morning.

I hope that they had the strength to try again as did Ms McCracken -- to finally experience the joy of a baby's first scream at the end of a long labor.

And kufir77 --- I hope that your parents (who presumably had high hopes that they had raised a decent human being) are not too disappointed with the ugly person that you have become. Your post was one of the most reprehensible I have seen in a long time.

JT