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Tuesday, July 7, 2009 12:00 AM

I do not eat rice cakes and salad

An ode to the joys of not enjoying "chick food"
Rebecca Traister

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  • Tuesday, July 7, 2009 04:30 PM

    An ode to the joys of eating guy food

    Let's see: Adam's apple? Check. Hairy chest with pointless nipples? Check. Mr. Happy and the Chuckleheads? Check, check, and check. Looks like I qualify to write this ode.

    Durian's Joe's Ode to Manly Manly Man Food

    For breakfast I eat berries with muesli

    Mixed with yogurt made from soy (hey, it fools me!)

    I always eat salad for lunch

    And devour arugula by the bunch

    My snacks are almonds and fruit

    And maybe some coffee to boot

    Life's not about how much I weigh

    But in good shape I vow I will stay

    Still, I'll throw back some bourbon and beer

    With veggie babe Hayden Panettiere

    But for dinner I'm a sinner

    Pasta with pesto, it's a winner

    I'm a guy there, there's no doubt of it

    But Coke, Diet or Reg, keep me out of it

    'Cause I'm not a dumb twit

    And I won't drink that shit.

    —DurianJoe Read DurianJoe's other letters

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