stfumarrieds.tumblr.com

But that's just me.

Now all you outraged parents who are also married can be doubly outraged! Woot! Nothing I love more than overblow, pretentious assholes pretending to be outraged by people who call them out on their own bullshit.

So yeah, the site is funny. As is STFU marrieds and all the other similar sites out there to poke fun at the completely unaware.

When I read the title and teaser, I thought the piece was going to center on violation of children's privacy -- that, I think, is a major part of my annoyance when I witness this phenomenon.

I do have issues with people who think they are special, as well, and it certainly includes the folks who act like they invented parenting.

I love kids and talk about my nieces and nephews frequently. But I don't make the mistake of believing that any coworker or bystander is as enthralled with them as I am.

BTW, this isn't a big deal, but I find myself bemused that almost everyone who mentions their kids feels compelled to mention their beauty as if that were the main thing about the kid. It's always "I am the mother of an adorable daughter," or "I encountered this situation with my beautiful daughter" etc. etc.

But then we're not 'breeders.' My big question is 'Why?' Why would anyone want to brag, let alone share visuals of their kids eating 'poo,' or barfing in mommy's mouth? What motivates people to do something so invasive? And imagine how the kid will feel when, in 20-something years, h/she goes for that big job interview, and the HR person looks at the resume, then a light goes on, and they ask 'Say, aren't you the kid who puked in your mom's mouth when you were 3 months old? I saw it on Facebook 20 years ago. Never forgot it. God that was hilarious! Uh, we'll keep your resume on file. You need a bucket?' You know, MOM AND DAD, people had babies before you. No one really gives a shit about your cute little bundle of puke. And if you're so fucking tired after 'all you do all day' that humiliating yourself and your child is your way of unwinding, I'd argue that you just aren't quite busy enough. Maybe spending some more time as an attentive parent and less time blogging about how 'hard it is for you' would be a better path to take.

Is that these super-involved parents have the time to post so much on Facebook. Some mothers that I know update more than I do. Do they have a baby in one hand and their iPhone in the other? I really get annoyed when they say they are tired. Maybe if you logged off and took a nap, you would feel better.

The privacy objection I can get behind. I definitely don't post embarrassing photos of my kids anywhere, or even take them--I don't believe in it. And I'm not a huge fan of potty humor in general.

What gets me rolling my eyes is the "boring" argument. The "no one cares" argument. That's just weak, especially when you bear in mind that those frothing the most loudly that "no one cares" and "no one wants to see it" have...started an ENTIRE WEBSITE of the shall we say "greatest hits" of the genre! That's a bit odd, no?

But the whole premise of Facebook is narcissism and overshare. Same with Myspace. They are all about primping your own profile to most accurately provide a demographic snapshot of the unique, priceless individual you are at that moment in space and time. Look at the info that you are prompted to provide in your profile. Am I really going to deeply connect with an old classmate because we both watch "House"? Will my bumpkin cousins care that I listen to Sonic Youth? Unlikely. All this information is there for us to look at ourselves and admire. "What a cultured, deep, unique person I am, with unusual and refined tastes in all things media, and yet a sense of whimsy and fun and a complete lack of unnecessary snobbery!" This is why hipsters inhabit Facebook at disproportionate levels.

My brother in law's Facebook provides a running tally of what he is drinking and what dumb things he did after he had a few, complete with photos of the dumb sorority types he's hoping to score with, all of them mostly naked already and making weird pseudo-pornographic gestures. Did I want to know that? Um, no. However, it is amusing in its own way I suppose.

How interesting, I think, that after we've spent the last 30 years telling two generations of kids that "you're special!" ad nauseaum, the biggest sin is now "he believes he's so special" or "she thinks people care about her life." This doesn't mean that "he" and "she" are necessarily narcissists. I do think, on the contrary, that the annoyance is that "someone other than me thinks that they are as special as I am."

I have come to realize that Facebook's greatest contribution to modern civilization has been to show each of us on a daily basis how entirely unremarkable we really are. Call it an electronic reality check.

I can't see how this is any different than a single childless person posting too much information about the equally unglamorous experience of the associated bodily malfunctions of drinking and partying (or whatever- insert your own stereotype). Or the folks who can't stop their political diatribes. Or the fact that I post way too much about my garden. I'm not a parent, but I personally enjoy posts about my friends' children. In fact, I try to enjoy all of my friends and what they feel is important and to take responsibility for having accepted their friendship on Facebook. Sure, occasionally I say something snarky to myself about a post or two. I also know people likely feel that way about mine....it begs the question, though, why some people feel the need to make this known in a public forum (and one safely not on Facebook).

It's not so different from the playground. The bigger question is: when is someone going to start a blog about the prevalence of snark that tries too hard to be funny and the associated neuroses it betrays about the snarker?