I loved this story. I grew up relatively free of gender labels as one of many kids, male and female until we went to school. My parents treated all of us the same. Some of us preferred the mecano set and the little microscope set. Some of us played with the barbie dolls. Our choices of toys did not fall along gender lines. We all played with go-carts, tennis rackets, bicycles, badminton sets, lego, coloring books, tonka toys. Later in life, when we bought our first cars (old clunkers because mom and dad did not consider cars to be something they had to provide for their kids), my dad insisted that we all learn how to change a tire, check and change our oil, and replace the odd battery, use booster cable, etc. regardless of gender. Not sure whether the outcome is related in anyway to our upbringing, but the girls didn't marry and only one had a child. My theory is that it became perfectly clear to the girls that the only way simulate gender equality is to remain financially independent. The only way to accomplish that in a world where women do not receive equal pay for equal work, is to avoid marriage and child bearing. We may have been right. My lack of regret for not breeding may also in a way reflect that genderless upbringing. I don't feel like I've missed out on any "womanly" experience. I more often feel I've escaped it.

Good for them, I'm so over the gender sterotyping that begins well before birth. Why can't a baby just be a baby and develop into a child with its own interests and self actualization without society demanding a princess or a football player.

Me, a new father, walking into a kids clothing store for the first time.

Me: Where are your 'Jammies?

Them: Boy or girl?

Me: It's a baby, I need baby size pajamas.

Them: Boy or girl?

At that point I looked around and realized there was a pink side of the store and a blue side of the store. You were there to buy Girls clothes or Boys clothes. Never kids clothes.

I've never gone back.

...is going to be more psychologically healthy for the kid than just saying "you're a boy, but you can play with dolls if you like" or "you're a girl, but you can play with trucks if you like."

At 2.5 years old, this kid should be able to talk fairly well. Presumably he/she knows whether he/she is a boy or a girl...and with a little sibling on the way, probably interested in how babies are made (and which part he/she might be able to play in that little drama when he/she grows up). I wonder if the kid isn't telling strangers his/her sex because he/she doesn't want to, or because he/she is being pressured by the parents to keep it a secret.

we would say "sex" when we're talking about someone's sex, and "gender" when we're talking about someone's gender. Sometimes the two words can be used interchangeably but usually they can't, without making a mash of whatever it is one is trying to say.

I read these letters, and I think about these parents and I wonder if it ever occurs to people that living with gender types, or without, is not a moral question.

People seem to think they are more "advanced" and ethical because they oppose blue for boys or pink for girls, or because they think men and women should be similar.

But there is no ethical dilemma, these are just cultural habits and norms, an issue of style, nothing more. So long as legally speaking, both sexes have access to freedom of choice in their lives, gender roles are just a cultural phenomenon. And there is nothing wrong with that. People WANT to accentuate the very things that make them who they are, that make them different. And they always will. So men will always seek ways to announce that they are men and seperate themselves, and so will women. There is nothing wrong with this.

I also wonder why people are so upset about differences. I like the fact that people come in mutliple sexes, races, types, styles..If you don't, thats cool too. But please stop pretending, as these self absorbed parents, that your doing something superior or more moral. Your not. Really.

For example- the girls pay a lot more attention to what they are wearing. They are more sensitive to colors too. You will never see a toddler boy refusing to wear green pants because he happens to be wearing his red floral shirt- but that happens a lot with the girls. Whereas the boys will have some degree of violence. There is a lot more shoving and slapping with boys. Love of cars, guns, planes, etc also come fairly naturally to boys.

When it comes to pets, stuffed animals, sports, cooking/eating, music/dancing, video games, movies/TV, etc -I think girls and boys are fairly indistinguishable though.

My grandson, just turned 3, has looked like a boy since he was six months old, even with long, wavy hair and a unisex outfit on. Every single stranger automatically knows his sex.

So, my daughter and son-in-law would have looked like idiots had they coyly and pretentiously tried to keep his sex a secret.

The absurd swedes are good at is producing meatballs.

Although this is a step in the right direction, I don't think it is enough to prevent this kid from being affected by the blatant sexism which is present in any society (including the Swedish one)

Of course, it is to praise that these parents don't want the kid to see his/her gender identity attached to him so s/he can choose his/her gender freely in order for him/her not to be biased by gender roles. But, like other poster said, what about the parents? The kid is going to learn about the gender identity of the parents, who do not hide their gender identity. Mom is woman, Dad is man and Pop is...nothing? The poor kid must feel like a weirdo (welcome to the club).

I propose that Mom and Dad also hide their sexual identity in front of the kid and the parents' friend whom the kid knows. Of course, the parents' friends must also hide their identity in front of the kid. This way Pop will grow up without sexism.

Will s/he? Of course, the same measure would have to be extended to his/her classmates and all the people who interact with the kid. Of course, s/he should have to prevent watching TV and newspapers and the Internet, because everybody is gendered in this media.

And you see the problem here. The problem is not that Pop is ungendered. The problem is that everyone else is gendered. So, for Pop, there are three genders: male, female and Pop. Poor kid, s/he must feel an outfit.

But there is a solution. The Swedish government has always been a pioneer in gender politics. So I propose that the Swedish government should ban every expression of gender in Swedish society. Any mention about the gender of any individual should be strictly forbidden. Bye, bye, discrimination! Bye, bye, gender roles! The perfect solution. So not only Pop, all Swedish children would be free of being attached their identity to some preconceived ideas. Of course, Sweden should be isolated from the rest of the world until the rest of the world catches up. The problem of the sexual organs remains but genetic engineering can solve that in our bright way to an androgynous future.

And why limit ourselves to the gender preconceived ideas? Some poster has proposed that this should be extended to ethnicity. This is a brilliant idea. From now on, we will force African-American to behave like WASP and speak like them, so nobody can be attached to a culture only by the color of the skin (Bye, bye, rap. Bye, bye, ebonics and weird names like Obama).

For example, I propose Pop's parents to raise the kid without a language too. You know, Swedish people are worldwide known for being such bores (with exceptions like Abba and Roxette). Forbid the Swedish language. Forbid any other language: each one comes with a set of clichés (the French are unfaithful and good lovers, the American love fast food and so on) Let teach the kid a neutral language composed only of signs so it is not attached to any preconceived idea of a culture.

And to complete the task, let's teach the kid not to feel like a human. When s/he is a grown up, s/he can decide his/her identity as a frog, a dog or a person.

With all these measures, kids would raise without being pre-judged. A bright future is waiting for us. Thank you very much.

[Comment: Somebody told that feminists are the women who hate being women. Isabel Allende said in an interview: "I was feminist when I was a kid, even without knowing the word. I didn't want to be like my grandma, but like my grandpa". Some of the comments of this post give credence to this theory]