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• Thursday, June 25, 2009 11:28 AM

  Commitment, and an act of will.

  Is enduring love and marriage an act of will? Yes. And yes.

  There is always temptation. There is always opportunity. There is the boredom that comes from long familiarity which makes things that are new and enticing but forbidden all the more exciting.

  Traditional wedding vows, at least here in the states, typically refer to "for better or for worse", for as much as we might all wish that life were a fairy tale and that marriage is the beginning of happily ever after, worse will surely come. The trials of living, of working, of raising children, of accepting the habits of your spouse, of running out of things to talk about, of growing in perhaps different ways and different directions, all of these things and many more are why enduring love and marriage are acts of active commitment and will. At the moments when you are weakest, that commitment and that will are the source of your strength which keeps the dividing line between right and wrong clear.

  No doubt there are those who will disagree with Jenny Sanford and with me. But sometimes, love means sacrifice. Sometimes it means resisting the infatuation and sexual attraction of new "love". Sometimes, it means that selfish desires must be resisted. And the source of that resistance? Commitment, and an act of will.

  —Roman Berry Read Roman Berry's other letters
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